Holding Your Feelings Inside?

Holding Your Feelings Inside?

Holding Your Feelings Inside?

"Only the suppressed word is dangerous." -Ludwig BorneUnexpressed feelings have a tendency to fester inside of you. You become like a ticking time bomb waiting for the right moment to let it out but if you don't release your thoughts, the tension inside may eventually explode possibly hurting you or someone else in the interim.The reason we typically hold our feelings inside is that we feel that there is either something wrong with how we feel or we are afraid of the reaction we may get once we let them out. We may be afraid of hurting the other person or we're afraid that after we muster up the courage to say what's on our mind they will take it the wrong way or worse yet not even care.But, harboring feelings builds resentment and the problem with this is that when you finally do decide to put a voice to how you feel there is more of an edge to the conversation which can cause the other person's defenses to go up and that is exactly what you don't want to happen. But don't get too bogged down worrying about it because the reality is their defenses might go up anyway regardless of your approach.The key is to just open your mouth and form a sentence. It may be awkward but I'd rather feel awkward than have that continual gnawing inside eating away at me. Plus, that is what relationships are all about; communicating with one another about how you feel. If the other person is so closed off to hearing you or dismisses your feelings, perhaps you are wasting your time trying to make a relationship work with the wrong person. Just because you may have feelings about a situation that they may not agree with doesn't mean either of you are wrong in how you feel; it simply means you have to work towards a compromise. Compromise is a sign of maturity and it is part of having a healthy, loving relationship.The truth is we all have issues that need to be healed and in order to resolve them we first have to address them otherwise the weight will wear you down and will put undue stress on your relationships. Try and remember to approach the conversation with "I feel this way or that", NOT, "You make me feel." When you start out by saying, "You make me feel," it not only places blame on them but you are giving your power to them and the truth is no one can make you feel any way about anything. It's what you tell yourself about the person or situation that is making you feel a certain way, not them.Don't ever feel bad about the way you feel, its part of who you are and it's a very normal part of being human. When you finally open your heart to someone you will soon find out if they are the kind of person you even want around. Give the other person a chance to express how they feel as well and you just might find that opening up to each other and mutually respecting your differences isn't as bad as you thought. We all know that relationships have their ups and downs and being able to communicate how you feel to a person is a sign of acceptance, true friendship and love.

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