How Change Really Happens
We don't change bydoing something to change ourselves
. That would be like fixing something that's broken.
We aren't broken. Rather, we have grown up fooling ourselves, and therefore not hearing our true voice.
We change byrecognizing what's already true of us. This is a process of realization, awakening, becoming aware.
To recognize what's true of us requires discernment, however, because what wereallyfeel in our deepest being often doesn't align with our emotionsor what we generally call our "feelings."
Real feeling is astate, not a reaction. It's a characteristic of who weare, not something we conjure up.
It isn't triggered, but flows.
I hear so many people say, "Trust your feelings." But if we are trusting our emotional reactions, which masquerade as what we are feeling, we are going to go hopelessly astray.
I have found in my own life that whenever I have a strong feeling, in the way people generally think of feelingswhich aren't what we are really feeling, but emotionsit tends to lead me astray.
Feelings, in the sense of emotional reactionsand I don't just mean the explosive sort, but any kind of emotional reaction, such as wariness or disappointmentgenerally run contrary to our true being, and for this reason they will warn us not to take a fork in the road that our essence knows we need to take.
To discern the wise path from the unwise path takes experience, involving trial and error, as we learn to really "hear" our own unique voice.
Generally we go down a lot of blind alleys before we get it. But they aren't in vain, as they serve as our teachersalthough the more we go down, the greater the pain we tend to amass for ourselves, a topic we'll take up tomorrow.
Here is a key that has been brought to my attention over the years by several teachers who have helped me: When there is any sort of emotional charge to a decision,beware.
Or as another teacher put it, when we are certain we have 20-20 clarity, that's when we most need to be cautious.
Awareness of our true being emerges asinsight from within, not as emotional reactivity.
This insight has no emotional charge to it, just a sense of peacefulness and deep joy. It's suffused with love.
I spent years trying to change myself, agonizing over my behavior and emotional state, all to no real avail. It was when I stopped all of this and began to relax into being at peace with myself that change began.
The direction I needed to take came with no emotional charge, but with a quiet knowing.
I repeat, whenever we think we have perfectly claritya feeling that always carries a charge of certaintywe are likely fooling ourselves. This path will never bring the change we seek.
But when we allow ourselves to "hear" the quiet knowing of who we really are, and go with it, transformation is guaranteed.
How Change Really Happens
By: David Robert Ord
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