How Do Confident People Use Conversation Starters To Break The Ice?

The art of using conversation starters is not as hard as you might think

. It takes practice and with some patience you can learn to relax and get talking with people you never thought you could. Once you take the plunge, you will be having conversations all day and with everyone you meet. Don't be surprised how interesting other people are when you take the risk to connect.

Firstly, be confident. Talk to the checkout girl or guy; talk to the donut man, the doorman, the person on the bus next to you, the waiter at your favourite caf. The opportunities for casual conversation where you can practise conversation starters are endless.

Go to every event you are invited to and even those you hear about with open invitations. Get into situations where there are lots of people. Being around confident people who's enthusiasm is infectious and makes all the participants in a conversation feel confident and comfortable.

If you can, find out about the people you'll be talking to before you actually talk to them. If its someone you work with or go to school with do some research on their website, their facebook, their social networks before you talk to them. The information you get can be a great way to start a conversation. (Remember, research not more than that). You can then start a conversation by saying:

"I was looking on your company website and I saw that your company has been working with XYZ Company and that they endorsed your products. What products did they buy from you?"

"I saw an email that you are involved in the strategic planning project. Hows that going?"

"Jan told me you went to Honalulu for your leave. How was that?"

If you don't have the opportunity to do any research before meeting them, then a simple conversation starter technique is to ask open questions: What do they like to do? What sort of work do they do? How did they get into that? What did they do before?

The most important thing to do after using an effective conversation starter is to listen. Practice active listening skills. Make eye contact, nod and say "Yes, I see." If you are a good listener then what the other person says will naturally lead you to other open questions; which, in turn will lead them to continue with their story. In this way, they will be the focus of the conversation and you will become more confident.

Remember, the art of breaking the ice with great conversation starters is to make eye contact, smile and ask an open question about the other person. Before you know it you will be having a great conversation.

Other techniques to learn are:

How to disagree

How to cope with conversation lulls

How to relax even when all your best efforts don't work

How to finish

The best, most effective way to get into using conversation starters is to start conversations with everyone you meet. You'll get lots of practice and you will find that everyone is very happy to participate in talking with you when you are genuinely interested in connecting with them.

by: Rachel Hill

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