How Does it Feel to Be All Alone? - The Little Prince Series
Continuing Insight into Consciousness from the Story ofThe Little Prince
The pilot lived his life alone, with no one he could really talk to from his heart. His aloneness is symbolized by the fact he flew alone, without a mechanic or any passengers.
One of the most important lessons we have to learn on the journey into higher consciousness is to bealone and to love our own company.
In my life this was for many years my greatest struggle. Somehow my life didn't seem valid unless there was someone tovalidate meespecially someone I admired and wanted to be with, above all in a romantic way.
As I look back, I can't relate to the person I was at all. Well, actually, that's backwards: I wasn't aperson in those days, just an egoic self-image accompanied by its flip side the pain-body. Only in more recent times have I become the person I was born to be.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I was in so much pain internally that it was impossible for me to spend time alone. To be alone was to feel the pain.
What kind of pain am I talking about?
It took the form of a deeplonging.
Whenever I was alone, it was as if there was a void, a hollow, an emptiness inside me.
I had no idea where this haunting feeling of yearning was coming from. It never occurred to me that it was caused by an absence of my own preciousselfmy essentialbeing.
I say an "absence" of my being, though years later I was to discover that my real self had not actually been absent at all. It was there, in fledgling form, but I just didn't know it.
Our essence is never absentit never goes awaybecause it's who we fundamentally are.
But when the boa constrictor gets hold of us as we grow up in our family and society, it can squeeze our true self to the point that if feels as though it has disappeared altogether.
And then we grow up with this awful feeling of emptiness inside us.
Without an awareness of my true being, Ihad to have someone in my lifein order to borrow a sense of self from them.
Of course it wasn't a real self that I was borrowing, only a pseudo, egoic self.
Because I couldn't be myself, since I didn't know my real self, I would lose myself in every relationship.
Initially I drew the whole of my validity from the other person. Then I fought against them, seemingly unable to stop myself, since none of us actually wants to be taken over by a substitute for our essential self.
Needless to say, life became a whole lot ofneediness punctuated with an equal quantity ofdrama.
When in due course I discovered my essential being, my true self, I began to love being alone. I enjoyed time with others, but I also increasingly enjoyed just being with myself.
The difference between how I used to feel when I was alone and how I now feel is night and day.
Am I even the same person, I have to ask myself. Of course the answer is that I'm not. I wasn't a person at all back then, as I said earlierjust a false self, the ego, with its shadow the pain-body.
There truly is no one we can really talk to when we are in this state because we aren't in touch with our heart and hence can't have a heart-to-heart.
Oh, we can engage in a litany of woes. We can talk and talk and talk. But authentic intimacy escapes us.
I think back now to how my friends used to tolerate me going over the same territory again and again and again, ad nauseam. How did they put up with me? But then, I did it for them too. Pain-bodies wallowing in their misery together.
So it is that I have become a pretty quiet person much of the timealthough still when it's appropriate able to be the life of the party too.
I have no need anymore just to talk on and on as I used to, analyzing situations interminably. I have no need to discuss my "problems" with anyone, since I no longer have problems.
That's a topic worth exploring a little more deeplythe need we feel to talk over our "problems" with others. We'll pick it up tomorrow.
*Editor's Note: If you haven't yet listened to the seven-hour CD setLessons in LovingA Journey into the Heart, from Namaste Publishing, it's a perfect accompaniment to this series of blogs since it expounds the essential story of The Little Prince from cover to cover.
How Does it Feel to Be All Alone? - The Little Prince Series
By: David Robert Ord
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