How Not To Beat Your Parking Ticket
It's the paper they write you a ticket on, not toilet paper.
You wouldn't think people would have trouble making the distinction, but someone probably should have told Alexander Bailey. Bailey, of Medinah, Illinois has actually been charged with a misdemeanor for smearing feces on a parking ticket he received, writing a note explaining what those mysterious brown stains were, and stuffing it all into the payment box.
It seems like "dumb criminals" have made up more than their fair share of the news lately (Manassas woman gets DUI after hitting a LIT-UP patrol car, man receives DUI after he is pulled over driving a child's Barbie car, etc), but this is on a new level.
The city employee who opened the envelope told police she was shocked by the brown stains on the ticket, as well as the horrible odor that accompanied them. At that point, she discovered Bailey's note, explaining exactly what was smeared on the paper.
The note Bailey attached to the ticket (as well as the payment) explained that he had wiped his posterior, effectively using the ticket as a piece of toilet paper, in an act of protest.
Officials aren't saying how he made the payment for the original parking ticket, but had he managed to refrain from wiping his butt with it, he may have ended up better off.
Bailey was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct (a misdemeanor). He has been released from jail after posting a $5,000 bond, and is due in court June 1.
No one likes getting tickets. In fact, the Washington, DC area has seen a record number of tickets contested this year. But sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone. That fifteen dollar ticket is nothing compared to the time and effort Bailey will now have to devote to protecting his record.
But somehow, nearly 3/5 of motorists challenging their DC-area traffic or parking tickets beat them. Why?
While the chances of "beating the ticket" seem high in this circumstance, these numbers are nothing when you compare them to how many tickets are actually given out. Typically, the only people who attempt to fight such a small fine are those who already have a strong case.
Typically, these people will have very good cases, or at least a somewhat valid excuse (for example, not paying a parking meter because it was broken, and then providing pictures of the broken meter).
All in all, with small fines, it may be best to pay them and get them out of the way with. For more serious moving traffic violations, however, you may want to consult an attorney to see how best to protect your record.
Copyright (c) 2010 James Parrish
by: James Parrish
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