How To Cope After Going Through A Divorce

Going through a divorce is in most cases a very painful experience that often triggers

feelings of anger, fear, stress, insecurity, confusion, bereavement, abandonment, and depression. Even though it may feel like your life has come to an end, going through a divorce can be the start of a new chapter in your life. As challenging as it may seem, it's very important that you get over it and not get stuck in the grief or anger that you maybe experiencing. Here are a few helpful tips on how to get through a divorce.

1. Find support from your church, community, or various other support groups that are out there. It always helps to be around people who have gone through what you're experiencing and understand what you're going through.

2. Don't keep your feelings bottled up. Let out all your feelings of anger, frustration disappointment, hurt, or whatever other emotions you may be feeling. You can do so by keeping a journal or opening up to someone that you trust and feel comfortable enough to confide in.

3. Don't make any big life changing decisions such as changing jobs, moving to a new house, moving to a new city or state. This is not the best time to make such rush decisions, it's best to give it a little time before making such life changing moves.

4. Don't neglect your physical health. Keep yourself physically fit by keeping a regular exercise schedule, eating-well balanced meals and taking daily multi-vitamins. This is a great way to release all the tension, stress and anxiety that you may be experiencing.

5. Never use your children as a way to hurt or get back at your ex. The worst thing that you could ever do to your children is to put them in the middle of your divorce and use them as pawns. This has devastating long term effects on their lives and is an absolute NO NO.

6. Talk with your children about the divorce. Children are often smarter than we think, they know what's going on, so there's no need to keep them in the dark about it. Children tend to blame themselves for the divorce so it's important that you let them know that it's not there fault, and no matter what's going on between mummy and daddy let them know that you love them and will always be there for them no matter what.

7. Take time to pamper yourself and spoil yourself rotten, you deserve it! Go get a full body massage to relieve some of that stress; you'll be surprised how good that'll make you feel. This is a good time to do all things that you ever wanted to do but was not able to.

8. Don't allow your divorce to make you feel like a failure or define who you are as an individual. Don't be too hard on yourself, don't take it personal! These things happen, so give yourself a break.

by: Sandi M Lewanika

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