How To Get Your Ex To Forgive You And Take You Back
Let's say your ex hates you
Let's say your ex hates you. You cheated on them and they say they can never trust you again so it is OVER. It seems like your world has ended and there is no hope.
However, you can get your ex to trust you again. You can help them to forgive you. And you can do this within a day or two. That's right, two days from now, your relationship with your ex can be entirely different. You may be back in their arms. Every situation is unique, but it not only can happen it does happen all the time.
People get really mad at each and break things off and then forgive. Here are some steps you can take to help make sure it happens between you and your ex. If you can get your ex to forgive infidelity, almost any other relationship problem between you can be forgiven.
A first step is to take responsibility for what you did wrong and mirror your ex's feelings. Say something like "I cheated on you and I know it was wrong. I hurt you and made you feel betrayed and unloved." This is very powerful as a first step towards forgiveness.
You want your ex to know that you take responsibility for what you did. No lies, no bs, no justifying or defending at this point. Don't say "I cheated because I drank too much," or give any other excuses. Just fess up. Say this is what I did wrong. This helps your ex to understand that you realize what you did was wrong. They won't forgive you til they know that you know you screwed up. It is an important psychological turning point. So start out by owning up to what you did.
Then mirror their feelings. Don't talk about how horrible you feel, talk about how horrible you made them feel. This will help them to sync with you and it will help them to feel understood. It is a quick road to opening the door to forgiveness.
Once you have taken this first step, owned up to what you did and mirrored their feelings, you are ready for the big move. This is to then ask them how they feel about what you did. You want them to talk now, so you just listen. You want them to vent.
This is so misunderstood when it comes to forgiveness. Their heart is full of anger and hurt about you. You cheated on them or whatever. They feel like they can never trust you again. Their feelings of love are covered over by negative emotions.
You have to help them to release the negative emotions. The way to do this is to get them to talk. To blame you or attack you or yell. The louder they yell, the more releasing they are doing. Don't argue with them, don't defend yourself, let them say whatever. Make them feel heard and understood.
Having your ex vent or get things off their chest is an important way to get them to forgive you. Once they have vented all over you, those negative emotions are released. They have gotten them "off their chest." They feel emptier, they feel heard, they can now let go. They have room in their heart now for forgiveness. It's just like you going to have a drink with a friend at a bar on Friday night. You vent about work, and after a few minutes you feel better, you've let work go, and you can focus on something more fun.
Even if you cheated on your mate and he or she is heartbroken and said they can never trust you again, you can use this method and see what happens. It might take them half an hour to vent. It might take them two or three times or conversations to get it all out. But once they vent about how bad they feel about you and what you did, they will have room for forgiveness. They will have room to consider taking you back.
Using just these two steps you can often turn around a seemingly hopeless situation with your ex quickly. All you are doing is helping your ex to release and let go of their negative emotions. They have to release them to make room in their heart for you again. With the right strategy, you can help them to do this and get beyond the pain you caused them and get back to forgiveness. This can happen in just hours once you start the process.
How To Get Your Ex To Forgive You And Take You Back
By: Johnnie Laney
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