How To Have Real And Authentic Conversations
If you want to have deep, caring, long-lasting relationships in your life
, you'll need to master the art of having real and authentic conversations. Though casual friendships can be built on surface level conversations, it's very hard to build a sustained relationship without authenticity.
Having authentic conversations is a difficult skill. Yet it's a skill that all of us have the ability to master. In fact, some would even say that it's hard coded into us - We just need to learn how to access it.
Here's how to have real and authentic conversations.
==> Notice What's Below the Surface
Before you can talk about something, you need to notice it first.
For example, if you've noticed that your friend is becoming more distant, that might be something you want to address. But before you can address it, you need to notice that it's happening.
Noticing what's going on below the surface involves paying attention to other people's body language, emotions, facial expressions and their "vibe."
If you ever feel like something is off or not quite right, pay attention.
==> Say What's Real
Authenticity involves saying what's really going on. If you feel like someone is being distant and you're worried about them, say that. Don't just ask "how's it going?"
Saying what's real is difficult. Often time's it's much easier to just ask a surface level question or talk about topics that aren't nearly as confronting as the truth.
However, if you want to have real and authentic relationships, you need to be willing to step up to the plate and talk about what's really going on.
==> Vulnerability is the Key to Authenticity
Any time you feel like it would be vulnerable to share something or ask something, chances are that's where authenticity lies.
The reason most people don't have authentic conversations is because most people aren't willing to open up and be vulnerable.
If you're willing to do so, you can actually use that feeling of vulnerability as a compass. The more vulnerable it feels, the more real it likely is.
==> Be Committed to the Relationship
All of this comes together when you're committed to a relationship working out.
If you didn't really care about a relationship, why would you even bother with vulnerability and authenticity? It's much easier to "just hang out."
Authenticity only comes into play when you're committed to someone. You want to be their friend or you want to be their partner.
You want it badly enough that you're willing to put yourself on the line for them. You're willing to risk getting hurt. As a result, you're willing to say the hard things that need to be said.
If you're willing to do that, chances are the relationship will work out. On the other hand, if you're not committed to the relationship, you'll probably have a hard time having authentic communication - Because it just won't be worth it.
To wrap up, real and authentic communications are challenging, but they're what build deep relationships. These conversations involve sharing what's really going on and talking about below the surface, often vulnerable topics.
by: Angel Noyal
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