How To Influence Your Spouse To Save Your Marriage
Lots of people start asking "how to save my marriage" when it is already too late;
they already have their spouse bring the divorce paper and they don't have an idea of what exactly is going on. Still, this won't be happen if you at least still have feelings for your partner. In this case, you will see the signs of the divorce beforehand and you can do something to prevent it.
There are lots of reasons for marital conflicts; your spouse may merely say "I don't love you anymore", but there are undoubtedly a bunch of reasons behind it. Here are some things that likely cause a marital conflict:
1. You both lack communication because you both has time consuming work. When there is no communication, it is like sharing a bed with a stranger.
2. There is other man/woman. Affair might be happen every now and then, especially if your partner feels that he/she has found someone whom he/she can share his/her passions; in this case, the passion that you don't have.
3. You don't respect your partner. You always want everything done in your way and ignore his/her idea. Regardless of whether you think you are right or even if you ARE right; the purpose of living together in a marriage are respecting and honoring your partner way of thinking.
In either case, if you notice the crumble in your marriage, do not panic. Sit back and think calmly; ask yourself "how to save my marriage?" The very first thing NOT to do is act on your emotion. You feel hurt, so you try to hurt your partner back. You stop sharing and begin fighting with him/her over small matter. You keep searching for your partner negative side and constantly criticize him/her for that. You won't acknowledge that you HAVE a marriage problem and decline to seek professional help. These kind of things can happen if you just follow your instinct.
"So what should i do Alan? How to save my marriage when she/he does not appear to care about me anymore?" When the love dies, all you need to do is lit it back. If you think that you still want to be with your partner and you still love him/her, then be able to show your love and make him/her realize. You have to CHANGE.
Here is the concept: marriage is when two people live together and grow as time passes; there isn't any status quo, you're either growing apart or growing together. Being live together and understanding each other well, your behaviors have great influence in your partner. Don't believe me? Note that you must have copied something from your partner; it could be taste on foods or designs, the way you state some things, how you handle problems, and so on.
Exactly what does it indicate? It means that by putting your best attempt to change and fix your marriage, your lover will be influenced, whether he/she wants it or not. No, it isn't a walk in the park, but it is a lot better than sulking while thinking "Is this my carelessness? When did it started? How to save my marriage? How to get out from this circumstance?"
Changing yourself to save your marriage will need effort, determination, and commitment, but you can start by respecting your partner. In fact, not only respect, show him/her that you adore, trust, believe, and love him/her. Listen to his/her opinions and problems. Don't only see the negative side and ask for a fight, but focus more on resolving the issue together.
Basically, be somebody who capable of loving and lovable. The "new" you is likely to make your lover to reconsider about the relationship and his/her judgment about you.
by: Alan Robinson
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