How To Keep Him Close When He Starts To Pull Away

Question:

Question:

My man is starting to get distant in our relationship and Im not sure why or what to do next. How can I get him closer to me when he starts to pull away?

Answer:

Perhaps youve been in several relationships in the past where youve noticed the same pattern. You want to get more serious with him but every time you try he becomes distant and pulls away.

You dont realize it yet, but in the next 2 minutes youre going to learn exactly why men pull away in relationships and what you can do to keep him close the next time this starts to happen.

So whats the real reason that men withdraw in their relationships? Well, if youve read John Gray s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book youll understand that this is somewhat of a natural instinct for men.

In the book, John explains that men have been withdrawing in relationships since the dawn of time but back then it was more of a protective instinct than anything. Men needed to emotionally withdraw themselves from the situation because they needed to be ready for flight or fight.

Men by nature are problem solvers and they will often do whatever it takes to fix the situation and make things better, so dont take it personally if he goes off on his own for a while he tries to figure things out. Tell me if the following has ever happened to you:

Youve just had a nice romantic evening together and youre laying in bed together when suddenly he just up and disappears. What the heck is going on here? One minute you think youre bonding and getting closer and then the next hes nowhere to be seen. Its not that hes not into you or doesnt enjoy your company, its simply that hes on to solve his next project.

Obviously its frustrating, but your mans ability to compartmentalize things is something you need to both understand and accept. Dont allow this to drive an emotional wedge between you in your relationship, instead learn from it and use it to your advantage. Because if you dont, you could end up losing him.

When you let him go, do it without making him feel guilty. Hell come back to you more appreciative and understanding and more importantly hell trust you and respect you because he knows that you understand him.

Men are pulled in many different directions and a most of the time hes focused on providing for those he loves and future relationships. So as I mentioned earlier, his ability to separate his emotions from everything else is part of his natural make up and the more you understand and accept this the better off the two of you will be.

Are you beginning to understand why he goes into a shell whenever he tries to figure things out with respect to your relationship? The next time this happens, dont be surprised or alarmed when he does this because a large part of why hes pulling away is because he realizes that something more is on the table when it comes to your relationship and he needs to figure it out for himself.

Instead stay calm and dont go crazy. Hes only doing what comes naturally to him. If you try and push the issue, hell end up seeing you as someone who is trying to control his life and direct him towards something hes not totally ready for. Hell feel like youve cornered him and instinctively hell look for a way out.

So the best advice I can give you is to give him his space to make his own decisions in his own time. If you do this hell respect you because youre not pressuring him into something and hell realize that you are indeed the lady for him.

by: Kurt Foulks

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