How To Manage Shyness

Wouldn't it feel terrific to be one of those people that people noticed

? You would be the person to stand out from the background. Just think what a advantageous social skill you'd possess. You would stand out during any job interview, be remembered, you'd also cut a dash on a first date, you'd be the person getting the phone call. Maybe that's not how it happens to you at the moment, are you one way or another forever in the background? Do less well qualified or less skilled people seem to be getting the opportunities? It's likely that you are simply not making an impression on the correct people and odds are that it's because you are not beating low self confidence and being too shy in your attitude.

I'm not suggesting that you turn into a bighead but taking cover behind lack of self confidence will mean you lose out on so much. Modesty is a virtuous quality to possess but as soon as lack of self confidence is inhibiting your social skills, you know you've got to alter. Life is intended for living and living the most fulfilled life you can.

Have you forever been shy? Would you say you are a biologically shy person? Does lack of self confidence run in your family? The great news is that there is no genetic explanation why you are shy and you can alter it. We possess the capability to alter and be who we choose to be. There are two important things we need to work out: the first is beating low self confidence and leaving the shy person behind; and the other is to stop labelling yourself as a shy person - no one is genetically shy - you've trained yourself to be shy either consciously or without thinking. The great news is you possess the capability to alter.

If you tell yourself something lots of times each day, you are training your brain to be whatever you tell it to be eg "I'm too shy to ....." "I couldn't think of speaking to...". You are labelling yourself as shy by affirming the lack of self confidence each instant you think you are shy. We do something in a specific way because of the mind trap - the mind believes whatever you tell it - you are instructing it you are shy and voila you are shy! The great news is that you can revolutionize whatever you think.

"The possibility of stepping into a higher plane is quite real for everyone. It requires no force or effort or sacrifice. It involves little more than changing our ideas about what is normal." Deepak Chopra

The first feature to alter is to look at yourself in a different way. Inform yourself you can alter. You are beginning a fresh phase in your life. You are right away going to conduct yourself in a new way. You no longer think of how shy you used to be but you think of the social setting you are in and how you are planning to conduct yourself in it. You will be self-confident, friendly and at ease, whether you are asking a question at work or at a dinner party. You will be in control of your confidence in all situations. You can create your future by imagining how you choose to be. If you think about yourself with confidence, you will conduct yourself with assurance and people will perceive you as sure of yourself.

The maxim by Henry Ford holds true - "Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right"

Some shy people make use of alcohol as a way to lose their inhibitions and turn into a "different" person. This is not a satisfactory way to overcome your lack of self confidence in the long term. Overcoming low self confidence in the long term means you need to revolutionize how you think. If you alter your mind set and think with confidence, you will revolutionize your life in the long term.

One of the reasons shy people exploit alcohol to bolster their self confidence is that it makes other people seem less scary. It transforms you from shy introvert to outgoing extrovert but it's not the real you. To obtain authentic self confidence you need to alter your thinking and start to look at other people differently when you meet them.

The secret to your transformation is through your mind and your imagination. You have to choose to change and believe you are a assured person prepared to meet and greet the world. Your mind needs to be ready to change and with this you have to also believe other people deserve to be treated the same. You have to meet people with an receptive mind and believe they are welcoming you with an open mind. Life is meant for living not for hiding behind. Believe you can.

This article was written by Dee Brady the creator of www.secretsocialskills.com where you can find more information on managing shyness.

by: Dee Brady

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