How To Recover From A Breakup
Some of the advice you will probably think well that's obvious
, and yes it probably is but you have to remember that when you go through a break up and experience loss your mind does not always think properly and can impair your judgment, so sometimes a helpful reminder is all you need Last year I had a number of bad life experiences and experienced a break up that really changed my life, here are a few of the things that I found that really helped:-Talk - talk things through with your friends and family, confide in them, cry with them. They are there for you and they know what you're going through as nearly everyone one has experienced a break up
Take things easy - take each day as it comes, you may feel emotionally and physically drained so take it one day at a time. It will get easier!
Write - It can also be useful to try and see your relationship from an outsider's point of view, so write a letter to yourself about your relationship as though it was your best friend writing the letter, and try to be as honest as possible. You might say something like 'I never thought they were right for you as you were upset a lot of the time and they always took advantage of your kind nature'. Sometimes we are really good at giving advice but do not listen to ourselves as we are too caught up in the emotion of it, this exercise gives you a more pragmatic view on your own relationship
Remove the pedestal - it's so easy to idealise your ex, they can do no wrong in your memory. They were perfect were they? I very much doubt it there must be something that annoyed you, write it all down. Write down every little thing that annoyed you, and be brutally honest. Keep this list and any time you think about them reread it, again and again until you believe that you are better off without them. Why not write this list on your mobile, and then it's always to hand?
No contact with your ex - This is hard but you need to start letting go, stop emailing, stop texting, stop calling, stop all contact! Remove them from Facebook, Bebo, MySpace. Twitter etc. The last thing you want are continual updates of your what you ex is doing. This doesn't have to be permanent but for at least a few months, you can make a decision whether or not to remain friends further when you have moved on. If they are contacting you ask them politely to stop as this is not fair on you as the break up was their decision. This is probably the hardest step but a very necessary one, remember you were fine without them before you met them, you will be fine without them now.
Try not to isolate yourself - Its easy when your feeling like this to stay in by yourself and wallow in your own misery, try not too. Easier said than done I know, but get out the house, go see friends, go out for the evening. Believe me the sooner you start to return to life the sooner you will feel happier, this may take time but keep trying, your happiness is not lost.
Join the gym / go jogging, cycling etc - Last thing you want to do I know, but the benefits are unarguable. Exercise releases a natural happy hormone which will aid in you recovery you will feel more relaxed and happier, you will get fit, and just think how good you will look if you bump into your ex.
Be good to yourself - Do the things you love, go see a film, go watch your favourite team, start a new hobby, try horse riding, travel, try snowboarding, learn to ride a motor bike, you are free to do what YOU want, enjoy!
Listen to music- Music is amazing and as you know can instantly change your mood. So why not make a play list of your favorite feel good tunes and listen to them as often as possible, trust me this helps and will lift your mood. Avoid songs that remind you of your ex and also those slushy lovey dovey songs, they will only make you feel worse. You want those songs that make you glad your alive.
Altered image- It may help to alter your image slightly as this can enforce your brains perception of the new you. If you can afford it why not splash out on some new clothes, try a new style to suit the new you, plus you will look great if you bump in to your ex. If your feeling really daring why not go for a completely new hair style (it will grow back). You may be surprised at how different you feel after a couple of small changes.
I created my own break up website dealing with both the emotional and practical side of break ups and I give a lot more detail and advice on how to cope with a breakup, everything from what emotions you can expect to feel to how to cope with money matters after your breakup. I created the site after reading other heartbreak websites which helped me immensely and thought that my story and experience may help others.
by: Mike Sheppard