How To Save Your Marriage - Change The Channel And Stop Divorce Now
How To Save Your Marriage - Change The Channel And Stop Divorce Now
If you are looking for advice on how to save your marriage then I really believe we can help you succeed and stop divorce now by putting your marriage back in shape.
The situation you are in is certainly a painful one and one usually accompanied by confusion and frustration. Let me just say right up front that there is hope in reviving a dying relationship, we see it all the time.
Most of us do not have a PhD in communication, and even those who do probably do not use those skills at home with their spouse.
One reason we see so many inquiries on how to save your marriage is because people often communicate with the ones we live with in a much different way than those we do not live with and even ones we hope to live with!
Familiarity in a marriage often leads to a lack of regard for how we communicate with our spouse; we want to be casual and relaxed at home and will many times not worry about how words come out.
What ends up happening is that we feel our spouse has lost respect for us and treats us badly. Often times, people fight fire with fire and arguments start, then escalate.
For some reason, humans find this to be the easy way, rather than to stay calm and "change channels" from dealing with their spouse on the "ultimate fight channel" to something more appropriate for a relationship.
What is very typical is for a person to have problems in their life, maybe at work, and end up venting that frustration in the direction of the spouse.
I just heard where one rock star from long ago would come home from a long trip on the road to a wife who thought he needed to be "brought down to earth" so would great him with "welcome home, superstar, now take out the trash".
The wife says that her greeting worked in keeping his ego in check, but between you and me I am willing to bet that after a long, tiring (and profitable) time on the road he would have preferred a MUCH different welcome home from his wife.
Turn The Beat Around
Once you realize that you have been using your spouse as a pounding board (not literally, I hope) instead of a sounding board, come clean with an apology. Please do not promise what you cannot deliver, though, which is tempting when desperately trying to stop divorce now.
Instead of promising that you will never do something again, promise instead to make every attempt to never do it again, and ask your spouses help. Perhaps there is something they do that "sets you off" and maybe they do not even realize it.
With poor communication in a marriage it is possible to build up a tremendous amount of hurt and anger. Do not expect to save your marriage overnight, as this can take time to reverse.
Getting your spouse to respond positively to your efforts may take some time as well. We would hope that he or she would want to reciprocate and perhaps even acknowledge their hurtful actions, apologize and be willing to work at avoiding that behavior in the first place.
If you would like to know more about how to save your marriage and in particular what might work to break through to your spouse and get them on board to put your relationship back together, come see us at our website.
We have resources at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com that can help you stop divorce now and restore your marriage to the way you want it to be.
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