How To Understand Why People Do Crazy Things
Have you ever watched someone do something really crazy
? Have you ever wondered why they would do things that any right minded person would not do? To answer this question you have to understand the roots of behaviour. If you can imagine an iceberg, with only 10 percent or so visible, it will give you some valuable, if perhaps simplistic insights.
The bit you can see above the waterline is the external person and their behaviour; what they do, what they say and how they say it. But, their behaviour is really the end of the line. Just below the waterline are their immediate feelings. Can you tell how someone is feeling from the way that they behave? Do you think that the way someone is feeling will have an effect on what they do? Absolutely.
If you arrived at work and you were feeling down - physically, mentally or both - the chances are that you will behave very differently from how you would if you were in a resourceful state, feeling physically and mentally upbeat.
Deeper down in the iceberg, the way that you feel will be shaped predominantly by the way that you are thinking. There is, of course, a spectrum of thinking patterns. At one extreme you might be pessimistic and see the world through 'glass half empty' eyes. In this case there is a chance that you will expect the worst to happen and look for examples of things going wrong for you and you will find them. As Earl Nightingale famously said, "You get what you focus on". It is as if you have trained your mind to look for what isn't working.
At the other extreme is the optimist who sees every situation through 'glass half full' eyes and who will be more likely to see the positive in any event they experience.
The choice of thinking pattern is potentially a mixture of genetic and environmental factors. My mother always told me not to expect too much from the world so that I would not be disappointed when I didn't get what I wanted. That remark had a huge affect on me in my early years.
Deep down, and having a huge impact on how you think are your deep seated beliefs and values. These are often unconscious to you and were put there a long time ago by very well meaning people such as your parents, other members of your family, your early teachers and your friends. Until the age of about seven, you will have been imprinted with the ideas and opinions of those important people without you ever questioning them because of your feelings for them.
Your values are what are important to you and now act as either an accelerator or brake. They are your pre-event motivation and your post-event validation. They lurk deep in your unconscious mind and are often only noticed when you are asked to do something that 'feels' wrong to you. If you have ever tried to bring about a change at conscious level that would violate an unconscious value, the chances are that you found it difficult to do because your unconscious mind would sabotage your efforts.
Do your values change over time? It is possible that they do, especially if you experience a significant emotional event; whether positive or negative. Many people say that the birth of a child is such an event as it can change what is important to you in that moment.
While a value is something that is important to you, a belief is something that you hold to be true. You will probably have beliefs about the values that you hold. A belief can change in the light of new evidence. For example, Father Christmas - enough said just in case!
The implications of understanding this are many but perhaps the most important is that the next time you see someone do something that on the face of it is stupid, become more curious than judgmental and begin to ask what would drive that behaviour rather than label the person concerned as being stupid, lazy, ignorant or some other adjective that you might use. Who knows, people might just think that you are crazy when you do something!
by: Ian Henderson
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