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How can I tell if my son is gay?

How can I tell if my son is gay?

How can I tell if my son is gay?

How can I tell if my son is gay?

I wrestle with the problem night and day.

It torments me, won't go away.

How can I tell if my son is gay?

This is how you tell if your son is gay

Does he chase boys at school each day

Wears mascara on his eyes.

And at sad movies sobs and cries.

Another way to tell if your son is gay

He'd rather wear pink than blue or gray.

Stick a Playboy under his bed

Then check it to see if it's been read.

But how can I tell if my son is gay?

I wrestle with the problem night and day.

It torments me, won't go away.

How can I tell if my son is gay?

This is how you tell if your son is gay

He wears his sister's negligee

Sulks all day if he breaks a nail

and wants to be called Abigail.

Another way to tell if your son is gay

The earring gives it all away

If it's in the left then there's no doubt,

When they're short-handed, he'll help out

But how can I tell if my son is gay?

I wrestle with the problem night and day.

It torments me, won't go away.

How can I tell if my son is gay?

This is how you tell if your son is gay

Just check out the next school play

In the Wizard of Oz, if he gets the part

Of Dorothy, well that's a good start.

(Toto, we're home. Home! Oh, Auntie Em - there's no place like home!)

This is is how to tell if your son is gay

Experts claim it's the only way

If he seems to be an average guy

Looks the world straight in the eye

Fit as a US Marine

Acts real tough and looks real mean

All-American through and through

Rest assured, he's gay like you.
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