How to Save Your Relationship According to the Experts

How to Save Your Relationship According to the Experts

A relationship can be likening to a plant, if you forget to water it or take it out in the sun, it withers. The relationship does not stop when marriage vows are said or when she gives birth to your third child. Your love should withstand the test of time and circumstances. To renew what you had back then and strengthen your relationship with your partner, here are five expert advices to fix and save your relationship now:

According to Mira Kirshenbaum, a psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage, you need AAA when your relationship starts to tumble. AAA stands for Apology, Affection and a promise of Action. You immediately say sorry for any mistake you have made that have hurt or disappoint your partner. You don't deprive him or her with a kiss or a hug when needed or for no reason at all a gesture of warmth and affection. You vow to do something that is important for your partner and of course, you don't break it. The whole process of AAA can take two minutes, but in that time you have left the past, built a bridge to the present and created a hope for the both of you in the future.

John M. Gottman, the author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships says that you should change from a critical habit in mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistake, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right. Be aware of small things or actions and express real appreciation. This will radically change your interaction patterns from escalating negativity and criticism to building a culture of appreciation.

The author of the famous She Comes First, Ian Kerner, PhD tells that one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he does not have to make love like a porn star. You can teach or show him how to do it like a woman: sensual, creative, non-genital based and more pleasure than orgasm-focused. Make him experience that goes beyond his genitals and make him fully engaged mind, body and soul.

Stopping the shame, blame and criticism is the best way to save or maintain a relationship is the advice that Harville Hendrix PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want. Instead of bombarding him with the shame, blame and criticism, ask for what you want in a clear, specific and positive manner and express appreciation for your partner. Men secretly need to feel competent they wanted to contribute and have the contribution noticed. They like to be told what they should do to make you happy instead of guessing it. Since men are not fond of words and tends to show their affection by doing things, you should interpret their actions as love. Finally, when men know what to do and are recognized for it, they keep on doing it.

Dr. Ruth Westheirmer, author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love, suggested pumping up some fresh air. Relationships grow a bit musty as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the mustier they can get. A week-end getaway in a romantic setting would be ideal but a few hours alone in a motel room might as well do the trick. Escape from work, do not tell anyone where you are, turn off all mobile phones and IMs, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has been restored to its former glory.

Rekindle the dying flame and save your relationship! Click here to find out about how you bring your partner back in your arms and have the perfect relationship you once lost!

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