How to Survive a Divorce

Call up your memory of the day of your wedding

. You were filled with such love, joy and boundless hope at that time of your life. The days ahead looked so promising like a rosy pink garden flowing with immense possibilities. You saw days filled with laughter and nights filled with passion, never once thinking that of the disturbance and confusion that troubles you now. Divorce was merely something that happened to others, except now it has, in fact, happened to you.

I don't know if any one can really survive a divorce like it did not happen. I think rather that you mend partially, but the core wound remains. You should see a divorce as it really is: an ending. It is just the same as a death in the family. You mourn the loss of a loved one, just the same way you should lament the of a marriage.

Divorce is a word that carries an air of heaviness with it. It is just as ugly and hurtful as the mood that generates inside of you after it happens. Even in the seemingly amicable of divorces, there is still that feeling of failure, a feeling of giving up and that feeling of hopelessness when the papers are signed and the marriage is legally declared "over." And that is because there is nothing amicable about getting a divorce. A marriage that ends terribly or madly is even harder to accomodate. It is more than torturing , it obliterates part of your essence.

Lament therefore. Give yourself the chance to feel your own feelings to keep your sanity.Do not let anybody talk you out of it. Your heart is broken , and you know it ! Let it all go. Weep into your pillow, grab your best friend, if you have another one, and cry a river on her shoulder; but do let it go.Keeping it inside is not well. Express your feelings. If you say you are not a crier, make a journal entry then; or color a scene.Anyhow you want to do it, those feelings of hurt and grief have to come out to make way for the more positive emotions to blossom when you are ready to live again.

After you are done wearing a long face, you might be set to move on to tantrum. After a painful divorce anger is also perfectly normal and healthy emotion to have .You might want to take it all out on someone else? Join a kick boxing class and wail and take it out on a paid professional. You get buff while you let it all out, it's a totally win-win situation! Why shouldn't you be mad? That man stood before all and vowed he would love you til death would you part. From all you know, none of you has died, so he lied and it's not supposed to be that way! You're right, it's not proper and you have earned every right to be mad as hell.

Do you need counseling to overcome a painful divorce? You alone will decide. Some people cannot reach out to friends and family for counsel yet would feel safe telling their hurts to people they do not know. An unhappy reality today is that, some people cannot share their most intimate pain with blood relations, but would pick an unfamiliar person out of the phone list and lay themselves bare. They even pay the strangers to get them to listen ! If that is what you need to get better, then by all means do so and do not let anyone talk you out of it. Talking will help, no matter who is doing the listening.

A divorce ends your marriage, but it need not be the end of your life. Maybe you can take this negative and turn it into something good. Your life is being reconditioned already, so you might as well do a general stock-taking and see where you could do an improvement job. How about those places you always wanted to travel to, and the career you wished you could swtch to? Well, your chance has come, the time is now.? Those things you always longed for but your spouse was never interested in? Now go for it,there is no one to stop you. Sign up for classes at the local community college, or go on all the way and reach for the heights. Write a novel, join the circus, do anything but keep going because as harrowing as it seems presently, divorce is not and should not set your final condition.

How to Survive a Divorce

By: raine

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