I told a lie
I told a lie
I told a lie
So I was talking to a relative and I told her a lie. About my current whereabouts. Let's say I'm currently in Spice World. Instead, I told her I was in another place, let's call it Narnia. My reason was, I wanted to avoid awkwardness.
Oh, I justified it to myself by telling myself I wanted to save her (let's call her Dorothy) the embarrassment of maybe mentioning on the phone to another relative, who I choose not to spend time with, (let's call her Voldemort) that I am in Spice World. Because Voldemort lives in Spice World, and Dorothy doesn't know that I'm not planning on dropping by to say hello while I'm here.
So then Dorothy may be talking to Voldemort, and say that I am in Spice World, and maybe Voldemort would say, "oh, she's here?" in that tone of voice, and Dorothy would say, "yes!" trying to sound casual whilst getting a sinking feeling that she's said something wrong, and then wondering if she should warn me about it, and then feeling pissed off and fair enough too, because trying to just be normal in this bloody family is like walking on minefields overlaid with eggshells, and so on.
Feh!
So I told her I'm in Narnia, not Spice World.
Really though, before I told a big fat lie to Dorothy, I probably should have considered a few things:
1. I have two small children. Small kids are crap at lying, and even when they get better, I like to think I won't be corrupt enough to tell them to lie for me. So anyway they will no doubt be telling Dorothy next time they see her all about their lovely recent trip to Spice World.
DOH!
2. Dorothy called me on my mobile. Her phone bill will show (does show, on the interweb) that on this date, she had a lovely long chatty call to who was located in .
DOH! DOH!
3. Lying, even highly retrospectively rationally justified lying like this, makes me feel small, mean and unclean.
Dooooooooohhh.
Dorothy loves and trusts me, and I've gone and told her a dirty snotty lie. There's clearly a reason why every religious, philosophical and moral code I've come across (so many, because I am so learned and so deep) seems to contain "don't lie" somewhere. Lying erodes trust and relationships and makes me feel like crap.
Feh.
By the way, are you getting a feel for how much energy and headspace I've used up on this? If all the above reasons aren't enough, how about this one- I want to stop lying because I just can't be bothered any more!
When I see Dorothy, I'll tell her the truth, tell her why I lied and tell her I'm sorry. Then I'm going to set up a lying jar, and insert cash every time I catch myself at it again.
Proceeds will go to charity, with all merits dedicated to Voldemort, who continues to teach me so, so much.
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