If You Know What Your Soon To Be Ex-wife Fears Are You're More Than Half Way To A Fair Divorce

I conducted very thorough research to find out what divorcing women fear

. I did it by asking woman what their biggest fears were as they were going through their divorce. Man did I discover some golden nuggets that you can use to keep your fair share of the assets and keep your relationship with your kids healthy without giving away the farm.

Here are the top two concerns they have ranked in order of importance that my research revealed:

1. Having the kids taken away from them or alienating them.

2. Being homeless. My ex thought she would be which was crazy because we had enough money to split equitably so she could buy a new house and pay cash! She was in the dark and full of fear (the Grey Zone).

You see they are in the Grey Zone just like you are and are making emotional decisions because that is the only way they can make any decisions. They can't be rational because they are in that Zone just like you and that is about to change.

So what exactly is this "Grey Zone" and how do we help her...YES! I said help her...this will in turn help you get what you want. Got it?

The Grey Zone is the unknown about all of the divorce issues. You and your ex have most likely have never gone down this road before or if you did most likely did so the wrong way. Being in the dark about your finances and not knowing how things could look for you down the road causes fear which is a very strong emotion and that in turn is the opposite of making smart rational decisions.

We have to get her out of that Grey Zone by addressing her fears and showing her the money.

You must treat this like a business transaction. Kind of like Donald Trump does when he negotiates a win-win deal. He and his team of highly skilled experts analyze the data rationally and then he makes a rational decision. Is it always the right one? No but at least he has a good shot of success. You can too.

Again, keep in mind that I am mostly addressing the financial aspects of divorce and not the legal issues so consult with an attorney for that. I'm not offering tax or legal advice since I am not a CPA or an attorney.

Block out some time to write down your "ideal outcome" for your divorce. Visualize the kind of lifestyle you want to have. Be very specific about how you are investing your time with your kids, at work, at play and where you live. This will help you gain clarity.

My business coach has taught me that clarity empowers you to make informed decisions. This helps you get the results YOU want. Do not skip this step because it is THE most important one. Remember, you are creating your "ideal outcome" so dare to dream big yet keep in mind to be fair with your spouse. It doesn't mean you are going to get everything on your list but as they say, "Shoot for the stars and if you miss and hit the moon that is okay too."

So stop right now before you go any further and write it all down. Set it aside and come back to it the next day or whenever and modify and add to it. Keep it in your wallet and read it once a week in the morning. You are training your subconscious mind to "see what you want" and to help you get what you want.

by: Scott Martin

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