I'll F.o.r.m. You, Thank You Very Much!

But is it a true reflection of them inside? I've met a few Sales people

, or 'Business Development Managers', or 'Relationship Managers' who've actually admitted to the fact that sometimes they're just genuinely at a loss what to say when in networking situations... For some, what follows below will have been worked out instinctively, but I was one of those who would literally be a wall-flower till I was taught this technique.

So... you find yourself in a chance meeting in a supermarket queue that you know you need to take advantage of, or at a Business Networking event : how can you turn it into an opportunity to establish a working relationship?

You F.O.R.M them!

F = Family

O = Occupation

R = Recreation

M = Message

You start out introducing yourself - and bear in mind that most people love talking about themselves. So you start out asking them about their OCCUPATION : So what do you do? How long have you been doing it for? Do you enjoy it? What would you change about it? How did you get into it? What does that mean? How is what you do different? Here also take the opportunity to mention what you do know about their chosen field...

This could then lead into what they like doing RECREATIONALLY - This could be anything from watching films, to reading books.... But your questions may come in the form of.. So what were up to at the weekend? .. to.. I love your shoes, where did you get them from? It could be opened with your latest workout at the gym, to have you seen the latest film?... People tend to enjoy speaking about things outside of work - in doing this, you're starting to establish that you're interested in them, not just their work.

At any stage any of the above questions could open the conversation to their FAMILY. Their response might be along the lines of 'I spent it with my kids'... and you start asking about their families... talk about yours... people generally love talking about their children! Some may even take out their phones and start flicking through their pictures to show to you.

And only at the end of your intercourse do you give your MESSAGE : remember though, to keep it very, very short. 30s - 1 min max! Keep it succinct and throw in bags of character, and they'll generally want to know more about it. Of course answer their general questions as far as possible - but be mindful of how engaged they stay with you when you're speaking, since it could mean that you need to pull back a little and perhaps suggest that they meet you for a coffee to discuss it further.

Once you've become this wonderfully adept conversationalist - you'll need to know what the point of the discussion is, right?

S.I.G.N.

S = Strengths

I = Interests

G = Goals

N = Needs

In your 5 minutes interaction, you will find out any of the above Strengths may come from the question 'What do you enjoy most about what you do?'. Interests from 'what did you do at the weekend?' Goals from 'where would you like to take this?' and lastly their Needs generally from what they say or more often than not : don't say - since you'll find their eyes light up when they talk about their families - that it's then obvious that they find relationships very high up on their priority list, for e.g.

Basically, once you have their needs - you can start to see how you can meet it or at the very least connect them with people who can help them. If you can : then, and only then do you offer to swap business cards.

Remember that in all of this, its essentially about starting up and building a new and hopefully long-lasting relationship - take the pressure off the situation, and simply treat it like it's a new friendship you're trying to establish. Which may or may not happen : we all have 'off' days ... when that happens .. 'It was good to meet you' and move on to meeting somebody else.

You might also find that FORMing people might come in handy in other more social environments too! So enjoy the experience and it might just turn into a fun evening out.

by: Ron Salmon

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