Impact and Influence in Negotiation – There's More than One Way to Float Your Ideas

Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of sorts

. That doesn't mean it's not serious think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate, infuriate and become the subject of national debate. The analogy of the game is important because it is a reminder that there are rules that apply and expectations that players will abide by the rules even when they are not spoken or written. The notion of "fair play" in negotiation is as important as the offside rule in soccer and the subject of much debate.

All's fair in love, war and negotiation apparently. Outright lying is not OK but failing to mention something seems OK in many cultures I have worked in. As well as rules there are rituals (these are the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we "float" our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright. Although you may value your personal style of directness, forthrightness and straight speaking this is a time, in my opinion, to play by the particular rules of the negotiation game.

In Richard Hale's valuable map The Hale Circle of Influence the section of the map is "Proposals" it comes after we have established preferences and before we make plans for future action. If you are to manage your impact, influence and persuasion you need to remain conscious of where you are on the map and choose when to move into this area.

There are two distinct ways to move into this section and it's important to make a conscious decision about your behaviour. When coaching and training leaders, negotiators and influencers I introduce the difference between "push" and "pull" behaviours and the importance of these two forces in gaining movement during conversations, meeting and negotiations. A "push" behaviour sends something out from you and a "pull" behaviour encourages something from the other person.

In the "Proposals" section of the map, then, you can either make proposals for the other people to consider or you can prompt them to come up with proposals. How those look and sound in practice are

Making Proposals (Push) Putting forward a suggestion or idea for consideration by others. "I suggest we think about the following as a way forward" or "Can I propose a possible solution here?"

Seeking Proposals (Pull) Encouraging others to make proposals or suggestions. This is typically with a question like "What thoughts do you have about how to proceed?" In some cases and cultures an even less direct approach may be called for with wording like "I wonder what might be a way to proceed". This allows the other side to ease into proposing mode very important in cultures which favour indirect ways of operating.

The best negotiators and leaders know when it's time to change from pull to push when things aren't moving and discussions are stalled. As always, you may not be able to directly manage their behaviour but you can always manage your own.

The best way to prepare for influence by design (rather than by accident) is to complete the ClearWorth Personal Impact and Influence Questionnaire (the PIIQ) and receive a fully customised 10 page report on your strengths and weaknesses and unique insights into how to work with the other person.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation There's More than One Way to Float Your Ideas

By: Clive Hook

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