Internet Dating In Groups

You've decided to try internet dating and your best friend wants to live vicariously so she asks if she can tag along

. While the concept of double dating has its appeal, I believe they can be either a Godsend or nightmare. Sadly, some nightmares have to do with the other couple. In those instances, you are on your first date with someone you met on the internet and you're really hitting it off. Next thing you know, your friend is fighting with her date about whether he looked at the waitress or not! Everyone has a friend like that. Now you start to say to yourself "there's a reason she lives vicariously....."

Dates that become awkward halfway through the event are hard enough. Imagine how interesting it would be to be sitting across the table from two people airing out their dirty laundry. Makes for an interesting second date, if you even want to see each other again by the end of that evening. Depending who's idea it was to bring the other couple along, that can be a possibility. But other times, your date will associate the evening's outcome with you - hence, the night goes from potentially beautiful to disaster without any help from you - a case of "guilty by association" if there ever was one.

I've had friends ask me to go with them on a double date but I've refused 9 out of 10 times. Why turn a friend down in her hour of need? Let's just say I've learned my lesson. I went on a double date once with a friend because she was stressing about meeting this particular guy. She was convinced he was the one and didn't want to blow it. I suggested, in that case, she go by herself but she wouldn't hear of it.

So, I went to the restaurant, taking her brother with me because I needed a date of my own and he is a good friend of mine. We all introduce ourselves, get seated and proceed to look over the menus, etc. Things proceed nicely through the first course and then the evening begins to get interesting. Once the topic of martial arts comes up, he and I become involved in an animated conversation about the differences of our styles, etc. My date joins in the conversation because he's taken a few classes of his own. The only one at the table without much to say is my friend. I notice she's starting to look annoyed so I try to change the subject.

As she said this, I looked at her thinking "wait, you begged me to come" as I stared at her in disbelief. I debated whether to speak up for myself and then simply opted for taking a cab home. Having said that, my advice on how to deal with your friend's request to tag along on that initial first internet date is this: be careful and try to only double date on extreme occasions, because although they can be fun, there is also the potential to have the date go very, very wrong without any help from you.

by: Jessica Cary

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