Is Forgiveness Necessary for You To Move On From The After-Effects Of the affair?

Is Forgiveness Necessary for You To Move On From The After-Effects Of the affair

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Most of you are familiar with the old adage of "forgive and forget" but forgiving and forgetting is a lot easier said than done, especially, when you are still feeling pain in the aftermath of an affair. Many victims of infidelity have found themselves trying to find the answer to a question that is, all too often. asked - how can I forgive when I can't forget?

Perhaps you've found yourself pondering the idea of forgiving your spouse, but you are still waiting on him or her to apologize, Perhaps you are waiting for your spouse to validate your pain or maybe,you need your spouse to express their remorse for their actions because you can't move on until they do..

Your spouse, certainly, owes you an apology and should take culpability for his or her actions and the damage done to your marriage, but suppose your spouse never says "I'm sorry". Will you stay locked in your world of pain and despair, waiting for two little words that may never come? Or should you just forgive your spouse and move on to save your marriage? Although the sincerity of an apology given from the heart by your spouse can seem important but, will it release you from your pain? Will you magically wake up the morning after and all your pain will be gone? What if forgiveness is not necessary for you to find inner peace within yourself and find the will to move on? Maybe, ''I'm sorry" or your saying "I forgive" may not be what you need, at this particular moment, to heal the pain you now feel or the helpyou needto move on.

Whether you choose to forgive your spouse or not, is a choice that you must make alone but, there is a more practical way than forgiveness, that will allow you to deal with your feelings, the negative thoughts and move on to do the work that is necessary to heal your marriage. It is called acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean you approve or excuse your spouses actions, it simply allows you to tolerate the fact, that infidelity is now a part of your marriage. It is a way to reconcile your feelings with your spouse's act of infidelity. Acceptanceis not a magical cure that will happen over night, but it will happen with the passage of time.

You will know when you've reached the point of acceptance, when all your turmoil and pain has moved to the background of your mind and you've found peace within yourself and the way to move on to save your marriage. It willbring atime, when you are able to see a brighter future for yourself and your marriage along with the happiness that lies ahead. You may even find that forgiveness is within your heart, allowing you to build your marriage on a stronger and better foundation that ever before.

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