Is He Really That Bad?

Is He Really That Bad?

Is He Really That Bad?

In other words, reasons to complain and condemn your partner will always exist. The most important, is to remember that each person is different, and we are all equally entitled to our uniqueness.

Most identical twins have different outlooks on life and ways to do things*, how can you expect a spouse to be the same as you? It is a big mistake to attempt to change your partner, you have fallen in love with his flaws and particularities, to change him now, is to forget the very reasons that brought you together.

One woman told me that she views looking for a partner, as picking out the right pair of shoes. She needed them to be comfortable, of a good quality and visually appealing. Seemingly, such an analogy is unfair, as it objectifies the partner. It implies that the foot may be foul smelling and dirty, yet the shoe should always be at the height of her expectations. Instead, I suggested she looked for a "shoelace" that would complement the shoe. This approach implies coordination, not simple acquisition.

To sum it up, we should all be more tolerant and understanding towards our partners. Some differences are substantial, as the desire to have children for example. While others are worth overlooking, as the time it takes for one to get out of bed once the alarm clock rings.

You will have to take a step back and reflect on your relationship. Does it apply to you? Do you get irritated when your spouse does not fulfill your expectations? Are you paying too much attention to things that aren't really substantial? Are you accepting your partner the way he is or you are trying to shape him into a different person?

Men and women think differently. It is not a myth; it is the result of distinct brain anatomies.** This explains why women pay great attention to things men never even notice. This also explains the difference in the way we process information. For example, women take into consideration many aspects when dealing with a particular issue. Men tend to analyze the same issue, using one facet at a time.

Not only are we different, but we are also human. Therefore we are expected to make mistakes. Knowing this, we need to be more forgiving and patient with our partner, and create an environment at home where he or she will feel secure and nurtured, rather than criticized and undesired.

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility" - Lev Tolstoy.

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