It has been a while now since the news broke that your spouse was having a marital affair
. You could not and would not believe it at first. Since no warning signals were noticeable you just dismissed it outright..
Except your intuition kept telling you something was wrong. The more time that went by the more pronounced it became until finally there was no way to keep ignoring it. After checking some things out you confronted your spouse and they confessed to something you hoped against hope was not true.
Since finding out the both of you have made a serious effort to salvage the marital relationship but unfortunately the doubts you have remain. You still love your spouse but once they crossed that line of trust it's hard to believe that they will not do it again or even worse that they are still in the midst of an extramarital affair.
You cannot follow your spouse around every hour of the day so there's no real way to 100 percent guarantee they are not fooling around. What you are looking for are strong indicators that what happened is truly finished and that they are sincere about rebuilding the marital relationship..
The first is the quality of the apology. Declaring They are sorry after an affair is not a one time only deal. It may need to be expressed over and over until finally the marital partner that had been harmed feels better regarding their partner as well as potential future of the marriage relationship. It demonstrates an understanding of what they did to damage the marriage and further signifies the pain they caused you with a promise to never do it again. Anything less spells trouble.
A second would be conversation. Your spouse could have difficulty discussing what they did to the marriage however if they're truly making a continuing try that is a very positive signal. They talk about the marriage and why did they feel the need to carry on an affair. Communication includes your spouse listens to you. You could repeat the same thing more than once about how you really feel and whatever they did to you. Your spouse understands without getting angry.
And finally there is transparency. Regardless of how to the point as well as open the interaction or even how strong and legitimate the apology it still comes down to proving it through action. The characteristics of adultery must come to an end. In case the two of you must establish a program where you check in with each other on a normal schedule then so be it. That might appear to some as going overboard but if the marriage relationship is to be reestablished then subsequently having some form of check and balance is necessary.