Is your Relationship the One?
Is your Relationship the One?
Is your Relationship the One?
How does a girl know - really know - whether or not her man is a 'keeper'? After all, couples who've been together forever (and who have the house, the dog and the takeaway in front of the TV every Friday night) can - and do - break up. Why? Maybe they weren't asking the right questions about their relationship. Whether you're just starting out, already settled down together, or somewhere in between - or even if you're single and still looking (it doesn't hurt to be prepared).
We always resolve our conflicts
This allows a couple to acknowledge each other and move forwards,' says John Aiken, a relationship psychologist and author of U-Turn: Putting You Back Into Your Relationship (Penguin Books). 'Having conflict is healthy. However, you need to resolve issues and grow. If this doesn't occur, you can hold on to grudges.'
We share all of our feelings, both positive and negative
This allows a couple to bring up any concerns they have with each other openly and to express them with confidence,' says Aiken. 'It also encourages any problems to be addressed as they occur.'
We share the same sense of humor and conversational interests
Laughter. Lots of laughter and good conversations are a recipe for a loving, long-term outcome.
We have similar cultural, social, intellectual, spiritual and economic backgrounds
Coming from a similar background creates understanding and common value systems. Aiken describes these similarities as being 'a solid platform regarding core beliefs that helps a couple move forwards as a team'.
I like his friends and parents
It certainly helps a relationship when you can enjoy friends and family together. Aiken identifies the benefits as 'socializing in a wider circle and having the support of family and friends'. What's more, it makes life so much easier when you're not resentful of his other important relationships.
My partner is healthy, happy, and unlikely to suffer from mental-health problems such as depression
This allows a couple to be active and have plenty of variety in their life, and it encourages optimism and excitement about the future,' says Aiken. Living with a happy, healthy person enables both partners to live joyful and fulfilling lives. In a long-term relationship, if every day is a joy because the person you're with is happy, secure, has purpose in their life and follows their dreams, then their (positive) energy is infectious.
My partner's history indicates he values monogamy and we have a very good sexual relationship
Lovemaking is a wonderful way for couples to bond. It reassures each partner that they're loved and cared for. For Aiken, this fosters feelings of safety and trust, and the letting go of inhibitions. 'It also encourages affection and romance, and provides a great way to feel connected,' he says.
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