Janna's Dream Life
Janna's Dream Life
Janna's Dream Life
Janna was laying in her bed dreaming of the day she could pack her bags and get out of town. Life has been a living hell ever since her parents had thrown her out of the house. She wanted a career in the entertainment profession but her parents felt it was an abnormal and imaginary world. When she protested that it is an occupation like any other, they told her to find a steady job or to leave home. They said reality would set in with independence and responsibility. I tried to explain that when the tough gets going, their support is necessary. Then I asked to stay at home, and told them that I needed a new overcoat for the winter. Both parents thought it best that I leave. Mother said it will be a cold winter and although an overcoat is nice, she thought I would like a new pair of shoes instead. She gave me a kiss on the cheek; I walked out of the door.Mother asked that I call home once a week so she would know how her little girl is doing.
Living with Zia in her boarding house was not Janna's ideal situation, but you do what you have to do to survive. Zia was an old friend from high school, she now regrets she knew. All she talks about is how she is the breadwinner in the house and once I am out of hair, she will stop taking in strays. Janna closed her eyes to imagine what life would be when she reached New York. After taking acting classes and attending theatre workshops, Janna was sure she would make a better living for herself as an actor in the big city.
"Janna," Zia called, "get in this kitchen and do the dishes since you can't pay rent this month." Hearing Zia's voice really makes me sick sometimes, Janna thought, but with nowhere else to go, she got up to go to the kitchen to do the dishes.
Janna went downstairs and Zia was sitting at the kitchen table. Zia looked at Janna and said, "Are you looking for a job?" Janna said, "Yes." "Well, let me rephrase a better question, is anyone willing to hire you," Zia said. "I am looking Zia, I know I will find a job soon," Janna said. "Watch it sister with your flip mouth, remember until you do find a job I am taking care of you. In all these years, you have not developed anything. You never knew how to do anything in high school, and you are just a scrawny little something. People have said as you get older curvature would come but you are still straight up and down," Zia said. "I am not scrawny, small is considered petite in modern day," Janna said. "Keep a dictionary with at all times, you are not swift either. Now, if it were not for my voluptuous curves you would be starving. I know you wish you could be me but you are not. Remember when I was a damsel in distress; I met Zak to help us out during those trying times. My advantage took care of the both of us. Beauty is a useful tool. What about the time I sent you into the club to work the D.J. so we could have entertainment for our afro hand-me-down party; he threw you out of the club. It was not until he saw me that he apologized to you for his bad manners. My figure did it, 36-24-36, not yours," Zia said. "Look, I will be out of here by the end of the month, on my way to New York, to become a well-known actress. By the way, I have a figure too, I may be small but I have curvature too, Janna said." Zia said, "yeah you have curvature, a potbelly that is bigger than your bust-line and your butt. What are you going to New York to star as, a beanstalk? Who do you know that has made it big here in Oregon? Wake up as your parents told you girl. You need protection. You have nothing to offer a man, the world, or anyone for that matter. No man looks at anything in you and never will. Well, on the other hand, homosexual males can use you as a covert signal for their running mates. One more thing, if you can be out of here by the end of the month, then your rent is due." Zia, leave me alone," Janna said in a haughty tone. "Yeah, I will leave you alone for now because you have a lot of work to do. After you clean the kitchen, clean the bathrooms, living- room, and my bedroom. I want each room spotless or start looking for another room to live. You need to understand power, I have it and you do not. Employers, that is, men hire me because I am gorgeous. You stay on the welfare line. You need to be diligent in your studies to have a chance in life to be self-sufficient. Because I have the beauty, men give me the brains, so that I do not falter. Men tell me everything I need to know. I have so much power I can be president of the country, how about you. Do not under-estimate my power. I will leave you now to mandate your ass," Zia said, and walked out of the kitchen.
Janna was furious after her heart-to-heart with Zia. How could she be so insensitive, thinking she is god's gift to the world? She is worse than my parents. Zia was always talking about me as if I am nothing. Janna thought about the money she saved and would not tell anything about it. Working odd jobs pays off. By the end of the week, I will have enough money for my bus ticket to get out of Zia's life forever. Janna went over her plan in her mind. Once I get to New York, I am to contact Mrs. Marita, owner of the boarding house. She is also the woman that runs a local theatre group where she says I am sure to make a minimum of three hundred and fifty dollars a week doing theatre workshops. To hell with Zia, I will send her what is due for rent after I start working in show biz.
Janna finished her chores and went to her bedroom. Little by little, she packed her suitcase and pushed it back under the bed. She did not want Zia to notice anything to stop her from leaving. She got into her bed and turned off the light. She begins to think of what life will be once she reached New York. The glamour, glitter, and fame is what she always wanted. She knew it would be hard work but she was willing to pay the price. After all, her parents had always been the greatest in the world until they asked her to leave home. She knew it was their strange way of saying, I love you but they seem to expect others to return to her the generosity and gracious they so willing give, in the community. Mother, knows all the keys to success. She never tells me anything, instead, she showers me with artful beauty most people desire but she never showers "know how". In Oregon, people have to be "in the know" to get help and unfortunate for me, I lack in charm, grace, and beauty, to appeal for acceptance. Once I get to New York, I am sure someone will like me for me. I am tired of hearing, you need to gain weight, your breasts are too small and where is you butt. The ultimate, if you had intelligence you would get somewhere, but not one person is willing to help me do anything but stay stupid and destitute, especially Zia. For all I do for myself, I have come to learn that you can never achieve beyond the scope of your own knowledge without help or assistance. The only thing worse than that is to have a significant amount of intelligence, when being told constantly that you don't have what it takes to get ahead. Janna rolled on her side to begin silent meditation and prayer to remove the negative clutter from her mind. She wished for a better life anywhere far away from Oregon, the life she desperately wants to dissipate. After a long meditation, Janna pulled down the shade to block the glaring moonlight; closed her eyes and went to sleep.
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