Learning Relationship Patience Begins With One Easy and Powerful Step

In this age of instant messaging, Blackberries

, and microwave ovens, we expect instant gratification in every aspect of life. When we aren't instantly gratified, most of us will admit to immediately becoming impatient. Actually, we can get downright nasty and torture ourselves by sending crazy stress hormones throughout our bodies!

In the same way, we often expect our relationship or marriage problems to be solvable in less than five minutes. With this "instant gratification" attitude, it's not surprising that we get impatient with our partner! Impatience invites anger. When you become angry with your partner, then your partner usually becomes angry with you. Before you know it, you're in an argument precipitated by your impatience.

Unless you live in a cave, you have probably seen the topic of patience addressed on television, and radio, in magazines, etc. The advice is probably something like "The Five Steps to Patience" or "10 Tips for Remaining Calm." There is absolutely nothing wrong with these articles or the advice. The problem is that 5 or 10 tips are too much to start practicing all at once. Too many tips can make you feel overwhelmed and, ironically, impatient.

This simple exercise will help you take the first step. What is going on in my mind and body when I feel impatient? For example, perhaps you feel your heartbeat pulsing more rapidly. Perhaps you turn red and feel like you could scream or attack someone. Get the picture? Play detective and spend a day or two just noticing what happens to you and your body when you feel impatient.

Here's the one tool. The minute you start to feel impatient toward your partner, STOP! Do not do a thing. Just STOP! In other words, do not react. Be still and breathe.

Once you have collected yourself, you can do one of two things:

(1) Respond to the situation using logic rather than emotion, or

(2) If you are unable to speak, then be comfortable with the fact that you are not ranting and raving.

Be patient with yourself. It takes practice and patience to become patient!

There will be more love in your relationship because you took one simple step to become a more patient human being. Celebrate by cracking open the champagne bottle, going dancing, making love or hopping on a Ferris wheel together. Celebrate being patient!

Learning Relationship Patience Begins With One Easy and Powerful Step

By: Diane and Lewis Denbaum

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