Letting Go
Letting Go
Letting Go
Letting Go Knowing When to Be in Control and Accepting that Sometimes It's Out of Your Hands
By Alesia Shute
As I battled through colon cancer as a child, I didn't have any responsibilities. I wanted to be a "normal" kid, and my parents took care of the tough stuff. I endured the surgeries and the hospital visits and then went back to being a kid. But when I landed in the hospital as an adult, with a two-year-old son and a husband who relied on me and with businesses to run, life was different. I always fought as hard as I could to control as much as I could; however, for nearly seven weeks, I had no control over the things I loved and cared about most.
I think my desire to be in control stems from years of not being able to determine the outcome of my disease. Over the years, I wrapped my hands around and put my mark on anything I could. I took care of my son, handled the household, was a wife and friend to my husband, and together, we ran our nightclub businesses.
As a parent of a sick child, or perhaps even as an adult battling a catastrophic illness, you must find that place within yourself where you can let go of any given situation and keep a positive attitude that says Everything's Okay. I found that I had to give in to the loss of control. "Everything happens for a reason" became my mantra, and I looked at a half-full glass instead of a half-empty one, knowing that while I couldn't necessarily figure out the reason of why I was back in the hospital with complications, there had to be one.
And there was. My husband learned more and became a multi-tasker. He took care of our son, the animals, and the businesses. Of course, there were days that I felt sorry for him, but I tried to focus on getting myself healthy and letting go of the rest. When I finally came home from the hospital, my husband was "getting it all done," and everyone was still alive at the end of the day. That was what mattered. Was it hard for me to let others take care of my baby when I couldn't? Of course! But I knew I had to let go in order for all of us to survive.
As you continue to care for and advocate for the health of your sick child, or battle with your own illness, think about the things that you can control and what you can let go. Then consider those experiences that you cannot control no matter how hard you try. Those are the areasthe experiences, the actions, the workthat you must let go of, even if it's only for a short while. Knowing what you can control and understanding what you can't is one of the most important aspects of the healing process, whether it's your own healing or someone else's.
About the Author
When Alesia Shute was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 7, her life was redirected as was that of her entire family. She would go on to survive six major surgeries that had never been tested on a child, several minor surgeries and countless hours of pain and months of hospitalization. Alesia had to grow up quickly and adjust to being sickly and different from others. Everything's Okay is her story of survival that details not only her recovery, but also her struggles through school, boys, marriage, and pregnancy, with some hilarious tales of life and family to boot.
Contact Alesia directly at Alesia@EverythingsOkayBook.com.
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