Making the Call to an Ex for the First Time – What to Say and What Not to Say

Everyone who has ever gone through a break up has to face several hurdles

. One of those is making the call to an ex for the first time since the split. It can go many ways depending on a number of factors. If you're ready to move on, you're probably not going to think twice about just calling your ex and saying what you need to say. If there's some lingering feelings there, that call is your only lifeline to a second chance with the person you adore. That sounds like tremendous pressure on you, doesn't it? In reality it actually is. If you don't handle this right, that second chance you wanted will never happen.

When you're contemplating calling an ex that you still care for you have to be mindful of a few things. First, depending on the time since the break up, you need to be understanding of what they're feeling. Most people need time to process their feelings after an important relationship has fallen apart. That's why it's crucial that you don't put any unnecessary pressure on your ex during the call. This isn't the right time for you to tell them how much you miss them and how you wish you were back together.

You also have to ensure you don't say anything hurtful. It's understandable that you'd want to bring up the break up and anything that isn't settled between you two yet. It's not wise to do that during your first call to them though. You want that first contact to be calm and friendly. It's going to set the tone for all future contact between the two of you.

When you're calling your ex try and plan it for a time when you know that they'll be available and able to answer the phone. It's much better to call them when you know you two can talk. If you have to leave a message that opens the door to the possibility that they may not call you back. If that happens, you'll again have to call until you do reach them.

Keep the conversation light and to the point. If you called to tell your ex that you wanted to stop by to drop something off, arrange a mutual meeting time. If you just wanted to say hi, keep it short and sweet. Try not to wander off topic and don't go off on a tangent about anything that happened between you two in the past. Your primary goal with this first call is to reestablish contact in a friendly and non-threatening way.

Making the Call to an Ex for the First Time What to Say and What Not to Say

By: Gillian Reynolds

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