Marriage Therapist - Emotional Affairs

In our marriages today, we seem to see that we have many problems and distractions

. We have a couple of very glaring problems which we all know can breakup a marriage. Top on this list is infidelity. It is however important to note that infidelity begins as a gradual process. I then desire to address its starting point.

No one simply stands up and decides to be unfaithful to their spouse. These things usually start in the mind and then actualizes in the physical. The most important thing is to find out how it happens. The problem can be better handled from the root.

One thing that I have discovered to be really destructive is emotional affairs. There's always the misconception that it's not dangerous. This thinking is fueled by the fact that there is no physical intimacy involved. As far as this affair isn't with your spouse, it's very dangerous since it's just a matter of time before there is a longing for physical intimacy. When this occurs, we would be talking about infidelity and people would be surprised at how this could have occurred.

Begin to pay careful attention to your relationship with that colleague at work of the opposite gender with whom you generally want to spend your time. Yes, you're just discussing or texting but what's the content of your correspondence? Here's a little litmus test. Can you allow your spouse listen in on your conversations or read the text messages you exchange with that colleague? Just in case you would not have those conversations if your spouse was there or if you would erase the messages so your spouse doesn't find them, you need to be aware that you're likely guilty.

The usual way most extramarital affairs begin is somebody begins to be really attentive to another. The person feels close or appreciated by someone other than their partner. This is emotional affairs and is generally the start. A greater understanding of the dangers of emotional affairs would lead to more people avoiding it and this would subsequently result in a major reduction in cases of extramarital affairs.

Instead of looking for answers to your marital problems outside of your marriage, try to solve them. When you determine to fix these marriage challenges, you would have little or no time to engage in emotional affairs.

There is a need for lot's of care to be taken as you try to fix your marriage. It might sound odd when I say that there are people who have found themselves in an emotional affair and maybe even gone as far as infidelity only because they desired to repair their marriage.

You might have heard of an individual spending a lot of time talking about their marriage issues with a colleague only for them to begin to get intimate over the talks. There are lot's of ways that emotional affairs can begin. You need to really watch out for it.

If you want to discuss your marital challenges, you would be safer consulting with a qualified marriage counselor. A marriage counselor is qualified to handle these things and you can be sure that you're getting the help you require.

Don't fall into the trap of emotional affairs under any guise. Emotional affair is very dangerous and results in more problems.

Copyright (c) 2012 Paul Ruffilio

by: Paul Ruffilio

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