Men and Divorce - Moving through this Emotionally-Charged Experience

Divorce is an experience that even you as a man

, will suffer a lot of pain from if you have to go through with it. Custody battles, property clashes, tarnished reputations and emotional turmoil are the depressing aftermath of men and divorce that you have to deal with. Coping with the fallout from emotional investment can be most difficult for you. You need to go through a myriad of emotions to come to a final acceptance.

As It is not easy getting divorced. As an adult, the series of transitions that make up divorce will be quite a different experience. You need to know how emotionally charged it can be as it is often more than you anticipated. Here are some tips to deal with it.

End Denial

Believing that it is happening to you can be hard. You just refuse to believe what has happened. The relationship is over and you refuse to accept that it has ended. You pretend that nothing has changed. You pretend all is well with the world as you move through a storm. To remind yourself of your loved one, holding onto the rituals can be part of this stage.

Trying to find solutions to the marital problems is a struggle for you. You believe that your spouse will come home if you just do or say the right thing. The destiny of your marriage has fallen off your control and you hate it. Divorce as the solution to the marital problems is one thing you have to be convinced about or you will be stuck in a fantasy land forever.

Let Go of Resentment

Usually, feelings of anger and resentment are far stronger in divorce. Something is hurting and it is a legitimate emotion to be angry. You are angry and can no longer deny the cruelty of the world. The reasons for your anger must be explored. Safe ways must be found to express it.

You are experiencing pain and loss and your ex wife is responsible for it. You may feel you have to leave because of the conditions she created or worse, you feel like your family abandoned you because she made it happen. You become chained to your pain and suffering as the anger gets stronger. You may also tend to start blaming yourself!

It is self-destructive to turn anger inward. Depression can result when you stuff your anger and turn it inward. Even after years of the hurt, resentment can still be released some ways. The person the anger is hurting is you, no matter how justified your anger is. A way to move past the resentment must be found no matter what it takes. You have to move on as you put it behind you.

Achieve Forgiveness

You begin to feel as if you can have a fulfilling life. It is behind you to find ways to heal your marriage. The obsessive thoughts have stopped coming. Instead of looking behind you, you suddenly look ahead. This is what you feel when you have truly forgiven soemone or yourself.

It is a hard thing to forgive though but you do one of the best things in life when you can forgive. You have the valuable time, energy, and other resources to spend as you free yourself. New relationships can be produced, more happiness can be created and your goals can be reached.

The idea of finding new interests is opened up for you. The strengths and talents you have are discovered during this period of growth. In spite of the fear you feel, you are able to move forward through men and divorce issues.

Men and Divorce - Moving through this Emotionally-Charged Experience

By: Kyle Morrison

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