Menopause and Perimenopause Symptoms Are Magnified by Alcohol
Menopause and Perimenopause Symptoms Are Magnified by Alcohol
My wife began Perimenopause (I also see that spelled Premenopause often) at the the age of 31. We are both pretty active social drinkers. She had never had problems with becoming overly drunk before I met her and I had not noticed anything but good moods. She was under control and knew when to quit.
If you have read any of my articles on our blog or elsewhere you know that my wife has been kind of a 10 year study for she and myself. Perimenopausal symptoms never just popped up and became obvious with her. I mean it wasn't one day bam, hot flashes. Obviously, all the symptoms began to appear, but you just didn't really pick up on it like that. I believe this is what women see as going crazy. You know I think that it was more like, "boy she's in a bad mood today". It began to happen more often, but I don't really notice that. When the frequency becomes noticeably closer together I began to question what was going on. This brings up a little side issue.
I have a close relative who has been a raging alcoholic for 20 years. He and I were similar in many ways. We were often compared as much alike. But I am an optimistic guy with an upbeat personality. He is very dark. We both joke a lot and laugh, but his humor is meaner and darker. His teasing is more cruel. This is something I knew, but didn't see as anything but "we were just different".
By the time he became a full blown alcoholic sometime in his later 30s I wondered if was just a chemical thing. Now I don't think so. I took him to several rehab stints. We consulted with physicians and psychiatrists and what I learned is that often people don't just become alcoholic. They are made. By that I mean there is some pain to living. And the darker personalities hurt more. They maybe start out as insecure, angry, jealous, pessimistic moody. The alcoholic begins to drink to mask pain. It is a self medication. Life just doesn't hurt as bad when you are buzzed. I have had several professionals tell me that was happening with my relative. But what surprised me most is that many professionals specializing in alcoholism believe that it takes 15 to 20 years to become a full blown addiction alcoholic. For many years they are self medicating.
Is it the same with the menopausal woman? I don't see how. Her entire body make up is changing dramatically in inconsistent ways. Who can tell us what might happen here? With my wife, her tolerance of alcohol began to change and this is how it happens. They would of logically look for something to slow down the rush of emotions, moodiness, hot flashes. A drink seems harmless.
But, what begins to happen in women is too rapid, more dangerous. Where one time, my wife could have social drinks all evening and everything was normal and fine. Two days later she might stagger and slur her words. She would say things she could never have meant and then, simply not remember what it was that she had said. As the months and years went by there emerged another pattern. She would gulp all drinks when on her period and then drink more slowly and conservative when not on a period. Red Wine was and is taboo. It's very appealing to her, but brings on the worst episodes. Isn't that weird that one form of alcohol is different than another? But Red Wind is just too hard on her. She didn't have "hot flashes" on red wine. It was "hot days". Which demonstrates again the importance of communication. I can observe and she can describe. We together believe red wine causes more intense hot flashes. Please give us some feed back if you read this and you agree.
As I said, this all moved slowly, but now I'm convinced that we watched the changes and should have seen the symptoms. But we both missed it. I suppose that I'm more to blame. I could observe the changes. She wasn't aware. The feelings that she was having were causing the masking or "self medicating", were very real to her and drinking made it seem better. There may have been nothing new happening, but she was sure there was. Now we know this. If we had good sense we would both quit drinking. But, we haven't.. Now, she can warn me when she knows a period is coming and I limit her drinking. Red Wine is now out.
A friend of ours who is the same age as Andrea or so once said. "I can't drink red wine. It makes me hate my husband". My suspicion is that she was in some stage of perimenopause. It's a funny statement, but a serious subject. i"m not going to moralize or preach against drinking. I'm going to point out that the man and the woman in the relationship need to both research, communicate and observe. Only by working together can a relationship involving menopausal women (and they all will eventually) thrive.
If you have read any of my articles on our blog or elsewhere you know that my wife has been kind of a 10 year study for she and myself. Perimenopausal symptoms never just popped up and became obvious with her. I mean it wasn't one day bam, hot flashes. Obviously, all the symptoms began to appear, but you just didn't really pick up on it like that. I believe this is what women see as going crazy. You know I think that it was more like, "boy she's in a bad mood today". It began to happen more often, but I don't really notice that. When the frequency becomes noticeably closer together I began to question what was going on. This brings up a little side issue.
I have a close relative who has been a raging alcoholic for 20 years. He and I were similar in many ways. We were often compared as much alike. But I am an optimistic guy with an upbeat personality. He is very dark. We both joke a lot and laugh, but his humor is meaner and darker. His teasing is more cruel. This is something I knew, but didn't see as anything but "we were just different".
By the time he became a full blown alcoholic sometime in his later 30s I wondered if was just a chemical thing. Now I don't think so. I took him to several rehab stints. We consulted with physicians and psychiatrists and what I learned is that often people don't just become alcoholic. They are made. By that I mean there is some pain to living. And the darker personalities hurt more. They maybe start out as insecure, angry, jealous, pessimistic moody. The alcoholic begins to drink to mask pain. It is a self medication. Life just doesn't hurt as bad when you are buzzed. I have had several professionals tell me that was happening with my relative. But what surprised me most is that many professionals specializing in alcoholism believe that it takes 15 to 20 years to become a full blown addiction alcoholic. For many years they are self medicating.
Is it the same with the menopausal woman? I don't see how. Her entire body make up is changing dramatically in inconsistent ways. Who can tell us what might happen here? With my wife, her tolerance of alcohol began to change and this is how it happens. They would of logically look for something to slow down the rush of emotions, moodiness, hot flashes. A drink seems harmless.
But, what begins to happen in women is too rapid, more dangerous. Where one time, my wife could have social drinks all evening and everything was normal and fine. Two days later she might stagger and slur her words. She would say things she could never have meant and then, simply not remember what it was that she had said. As the months and years went by there emerged another pattern. She would gulp all drinks when on her period and then drink more slowly and conservative when not on a period. Red Wine was and is taboo. It's very appealing to her, but brings on the worst episodes. Isn't that weird that one form of alcohol is different than another? But Red Wind is just too hard on her. She didn't have "hot flashes" on red wine. It was "hot days". Which demonstrates again the importance of communication. I can observe and she can describe. We together believe red wine causes more intense hot flashes. Please give us some feed back if you read this and you agree.
As I said, this all moved slowly, but now I'm convinced that we watched the changes and should have seen the symptoms. But we both missed it. I suppose that I'm more to blame. I could observe the changes. She wasn't aware. The feelings that she was having were causing the masking or "self medicating", were very real to her and drinking made it seem better. There may have been nothing new happening, but she was sure there was. Now we know this. If we had good sense we would both quit drinking. But, we haven't.. Now, she can warn me when she knows a period is coming and I limit her drinking. Red Wine is now out.
A friend of ours who is the same age as Andrea or so once said. "I can't drink red wine. It makes me hate my husband". My suspicion is that she was in some stage of perimenopause. It's a funny statement, but a serious subject. i"m not going to moralize or preach against drinking. I'm going to point out that the man and the woman in the relationship need to both research, communicate and observe. Only by working together can a relationship involving menopausal women (and they all will eventually) thrive.
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