Moms, Dads And the Conversation

Many of us can relate to our parents approaching us at some point in an effort to have the talk even those here at TheQuietWitness.com

. Depending on how old you are, youre likely either rolling your eyes right about now or are fondly looking back to that conversation you had years earlier with your mother or father. And too, depending on the dynamics of our families, those memories will either foster a chuckle or put knots in our stomachs because they were so awkward. I was one of the fortunate ones. Growing up in the deep south, its not uncommon for kids to have a healthy dose of fear of all their elders grandparents, your best friends mom and of course, your own parents. The women in my family lived then, as we do now, by the motto, if its on our minds, its on our tongues. The same goes for those talks we have with our children on all things related to sex before marriage. This is yet another reason we are so dedicated to our efforts behind TheQuietWitness.com

We (meaning my collective family) were all raised in very spiritual homes where God is always first. We say our prayers, we ask for blessing at each meal and we each worship with our communities in our churches. We raise our children with those same values. Butwe also believe in using whatever tools we have to ensure Gods message is passed on, through our voices. Its important and its crucial to ensure our children understand the importance of taking responsibility for all our actions including sex before marriage.

My grandmother, bless her soul, was the master at not biting her tongue. Truly, it was one of her most endearing qualities and believe me, she had many. She worked hard her entire life. And twenty years later, I still miss her greatly. She was hilarious and had a biting sense of humor that can still make me laugh at the most inappropriate times.

I suppose there come a day when my own mother told her shed had the talk with me. In hindsight, she must have wasted no time confiding in her own mother about what she had said to her teenage daughter. She spoke of the burden sex would surely be if I chose to not wait until I was married and in the mid-1980s, the fear of losing the good girl status still had merit, so she also spoke of the social consequences of not remaining a virgin. There was the fear of pregnancy and its also important to realize that AIDS had just hit mainstream media. There was a lot of fear of dying from sex. My mother also spoke of other sexually transmitted diseases I would be at risk for if I had sex and of course, she tempered it with saying she understood fully how strong emotions are at that age and reiterated that she and my father liked my boyfriend. That said, she didnt mince her words when it came to what my daddy would do if he found out my boyfriend had disrespected me in any way. If the fear of an unwanted pregnancy wasnt powerful enough already, those images of my daddy (my sweet, soft spoken daddy, mind you) putting a whuppin on that boy were. Finally, she ended the conversation by reiterating what the Bible teaches us and how God intended sex to be something thats shared only in marriage.

The next day, the conversation still on my mind, I had walked over to my grandmothers house. She lived across the way and we always went by and checked on her after school. I walked in and as usual, she was getting the ice cream out of the freezer for us. She didnt say anything at all until she put the bowl of ice cream in front of me and sat down across the kitchen table. I had just taken the first bite of mint chocolate ice cream when she finally spoke. She said, Baby girl, let me tell you something. Sex is like ice cream. Once youve had a taste of it, you always want it. So lets just get this clear: youre not to have sex until after the preacher has made you a wife. She said in five seconds what my mom had spent an entire hour telling me the day before. Rest assured, both messages hit their mark. She never said another word about it, either. Wise woman that she was, she knew she didnt have to.

Like what you read today? Visit us at TheQuietWitness.com for more information for both parents and teens.

Original Content Written by TheQuietWitness.com

by: D McGill

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