Most Everything I Know About People I Learned From Horses. #1

The more I work with horses and people the more I learn about each

. This is the First in a series of articles I would like to write about some of the things we teach to help in our relationship with our horses, as well as with each other, along with some insights from our creator.

We use 4 keywords in our teaching: Confidence, Consistency, Compassion and Connection.

CONFIDENCE: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper & effective way

CONSISTENCY: uniform or persistent occurrence or re-occurrence

COMPASSION: involves tenderness & understanding

CONNECTION: a union, to join, link or bond

Confidence seems to be one of the most difficult for most of us to overcome. The key, to me, is looking past all the things that the horse is showing us, for example, head high, snorting, maybe pawing, ears laid back, turning its rump to us, unsettled etc. It's taking the time to listen to what the horse is trying to tell us, to see thru all the bluff to the heart of the horse. What is he thinking, why is he doing what he is doing, taking time to notice all the other signs beyond the surface. We need to see with the heart. Please don't think I am saying we should not be safe, we need to be careful and think of safety. We are talking about a different mindset. We need to take the time to understand the horse. Have you ever felt misunderstood? Chances are you have and often are.

Think about this. If I look only at the externals, then I will be making decisions about others and about myself on that basis. That means my heart will be affected by the color of the skin, the kind of clothes that are worn, the style and length of the hair, whether they're rich or poor, whether they're ugly or attractive, whether they smell good or bad, whether their habits are appealing or obnoxious, whether their religion is the same as mine, or their politics, or social behavior, even the person who looks like he has it all together, and on and on. There are lots of possible places to hang up and become trapped in a way that puts distance between us. This is what it means to love our neighbors as ourselves. This is a life-denying view of people. When we don't view people with this view it leaves us vulnerable to judgementalism, to showing partiality, to "cold-shouldering." Instead of loving the other as ourselves, we hate the other for the things we most fear in ourselves.

How you see another person determines the quality and direction of your relationships. If you can only see the externals, you will miss the person every time. If you learn to see with your heart, to penetrate the obstacles of stereotypes, prejudices, possessions, appearance, language, performance, and all the rest - if you look deeply into the heart of another - you will find the real person. Your relationships will become an adventure. We not only have a need to apply this to people but to the horses that we work with. Let's add to this thinking another thought. You see, people are not the enemy. Your children or your parents, are not your enemy. The leaders of the church, are not your enemy. Your fellow workers, are not your enemy. The people around you in your daily routines, they are not your enemy. You see, our horses think we are the enemy and we think they are the enemy. They are not and we must convince them that we aren't the enemy, but someone they can trust.

Someone they can feel confident in because we are confident. Let's take this a step farther. Only the heart is capable of seeing past the external, and the point of view of Christ is necessary for this. He could see in each person the image of God. "And when they came to the place which is called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and one on the left. And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

In Luke 23:33-34 Jesus, free from the trap of the external, could see the Samaritan woman, the adulterous woman, Zacchaeus, Nathanael, Matthew, Dennis Quilliams and you. Differences that created gaps between these people and other religious leaders were overcome immediately by seeing the person the way Jesus did. Condemned unjustly by Jewish religious leaders, crucified by Roman soldiers, ridiculed by an angry mob of citizens, Jesus - in the midst of pain, humiliation, and apparent defeat - prayed, "Father forgive them; for they know not what they do." They were not the enemy. Jesus was fighting, not for His life, but for theirs and yours and mine! "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and he carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted." - Isaiah 53:3-4(NIV)

by: Dennis Quilliams

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