Motherhood

Motherhood

Motherhood

Motherhood doesn't start at birth. The moment you have that life beginning in you, you are already a Mom. Your life will never be the same. You no longer live just for your own goals and dreams and needs. You no longer have the luxury of indulging your fears or inhibitions. From that moment on, you must challenge yourself to live in a way which paves the way for your child.

You will be the foundation upon which your child builds her life. You now have the responsibility to build that foundation as solid and whole as you possibly can. Not that you will be perfect or that foundation will be perfect. None of us can do that. But that must be the path you walk, the goal you strive for. In everything you do, even in your imperfection and fallibility, as you struggle and fall short of the ideals you want to attain, you will be building that foundation, teaching that it is the fate of all of us to struggle and fall short, but to aim high, seeking our wholeness without shame, without judgment, in compassionate acceptance of what it means to be alive.

Issues and fears that you once hid from yourself and others can no longer be avoided without your child paying the price of your hesitation. In the choice of how we live, we teach our children how to live. We teach them what is possible. If we fail to step up and meet our challenges, we teach our children to be afraid, to be victims of what is around them. If we speak up about our needs and our ideas, we teach them that we are important, and their foundation includes the fact that they are, too.

We are challenged to grow not only in ourselves, but in our relationships, as well. What might have felt tolerable or not worth confronting in our relationship suddenly takes on new and deeper meaning, for it, too, is part of the foundation we are building. We can no longer ignore issues or become the victim in our relationships. We must grow beyond ourselves and our current knowledge, for every time we gain in strength and wisdom, we pave the way for our children, making their path more clear and straight.

We do not have the power to create such a wonderful foundation that our children will never face pain or struggle, themselves, but we can help them start at a higher level. Each generation, ideally, creates a higher foundation from which their children will jump off into the world on their own. My grandmother of no parents and adult responsibility for the children and her father's business created a family where my mother had a father who loved her and a stable home. My mother of a childlike and needy mother and alcoholic husbands created a family where I had a model of being a strong woman who could step forward in her power and her right to exist. I, of a lonely mother who was not safe to be vulnerable and could not find any safety with a man, created a family where both parents openly struggled to communicate and look into their deepest selves to find wholeness. My daughter? She won't reach the stars no one can but I hope that the foundation her father and I built will propel her higher than we were able to go. And the child she carries? Higher, still.

Whether it is a moment or a day or a trimester or a lifetime, this child has come to you, to be loved, to be wanted, to be rejoiced in.

www.InnerPeacePress.com

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