Just after getting job my parents started searching a good match for my marriage. Though I was reluctant for getting married but didn't say too much and agreed to get married. My parents got several bio-data of boys and finally liked my present husband's bio-data the most. Further talks were initiated and after all the formalities the marriage got fixed.
After every thing was finalized, our families started having clashes on very small-small issues. Though issues were not very big but all these things made me so tensed. Family members were also getting panic but in all these situations my father was very much relaxed and calm as if nothing is happening. One day when I was very tense, my father came to me and I asked him how can be he so relaxed in such a tensed situation. Then what he explained I never forgot in my life. He told that a relationship goes to three phases to take a proper shape. In the very first phase we just exchange the superficial ideas with each other. The expectation level is zero at that time and everyone behave neutrally with each other. When we come closer and go ahead towards some relationships, the differences in thinking come into picture and also we start expecting from each other. This is the second phase of a relationship and this is the most important phase of any relationship because in this phase we come to know each others negative points. In this phase we have to decide whether the negative points of the person are small enough to ignore or those can not be ignored. So don't get irritated or panicked to see the negative thing in that person but try to analyze the reason behind the clashes. And when this phase goes with the decision of continuing the relationship, you have one strong relation with you and all the negative points of that person will automatically be ignored. So because you were not irritated by that person you will not have any old grudges with you towards him. For getting final shape of any relationship which is third phase also, you have to go through the second phase.
Now after so many years of my marriage, I am realizing how true he was at that time. Now I have a understanding and loving husband and considerate in laws. Whenever I go ahead in some relationship I always give the time to get into the second phase of the relationship and only then I decide whether I want to go ahead with this relationship or not.