Pick Your Parents When Picking Your Players
Pick Your Parents When Picking Your Players
I have been coaching in a very competitive league for many years, and can proudly state I have never posted a single losing season. There have been close calls to be certain - but I learned long ago that success on the field with a team of boys goes beyond the players themselves. The parents of the players must also be considered...
One of my most talented teams was my 2009 6th grade team. This was an experienced group of boys with talent, that had been with us an average of four years in our system. They were also one of my least fun teams to coach, due to interference from the family of one particular boy, we'll call "Ralph" (not his actual name).
We had a good experienced staff, and that core of players had gone 7-2 the previous season, coming in second place in our league ofh 12 teams. We were looking forward to competing for the championship again.
We began the year knowing there were a few troubled kids on the team, but we had those same boys for a few years, and knew how to keep them in line. The real problem was Ralph's parents and extended family. Ralph was a true talent, and his parents were hoping to use his final season in our league as a springboard to get an athletic "hardship" scholarship to an excellent nearby private school. Without a scholarship, the family could not otherwise afford the tuition. Ralph's parents told us about this plan at the beginning of the season, but we never thought it would be a situation with any negative ramifications for the team.
When the season started, this Ralph's "entourage" of grown cousin, aunts, and neighbors were always out in force at each game. Each thought he was "the star" of the team, and they were obnoxiously vocal, insisting that on every play we "give the ball to Ralph". They were boisterous, and solely focused on his role in the game. In fact, it was more important to them than the actual outcome of the game. On several occasions, they tried to mix it up with referees on the field, and even tried to file unofficial protests with league management if a certain play in a game didn't go their boy's way. Ref's I had known and gotten along with for years began to take me aside before games to say things like "we are tired of the hazing from this boys parents - keep 'em in line today, or there may be problems". Not a good thing for a coach to hear from a ref right before kickoff!
To further illuminate the situation.... whenever our team got up by a large spread early in the game, we usually "rested" the entire offensive backfield for the remainder of the game, playing them only on defense. As coaches, we agreed this would help alleviate an embarrassing blowout, and would give our backups valuable game experience that may be critical later in the season.
This situation arose in our first game of the season. Instead of enjoying a great victory, Ralph's family began to complain right away that their son had only one carry (a 60 yard TD run), and they wanted him back in the offense to rack up some big stats in front of his fans... It was as if the other boys on the team didn't deserve to a chance to have a big game of their own, and we explianed this to them. A wild shouting ruckus soon broke out in our area amongst the family members during our halftime meeting with the boys. We chased the family off, but by then the damage had been done. Ralph began to pout, and while he continued to play in the route, he was never the same for the rest of the season. His attitude soured, and it was clear to see that he viewed himself now as a "team of one, with a minor supporting cast."
This wonderful team of great boys finished the season 5-4, and lost our first round playoff game to a team that had never come close to beating us in 6 seasons. It was an embarrassing finish to a troubled year. I blame it all on the negative and constant distraction of Ralph's "entourage".
As our league culminates in the 6th grade, we lose all of our players as they graduate on to play on school teams. As coaches, we "loop back around" to bring in a new group of boys to train for the next 5 years. With a new starting point at hand, our staff has returned to our old policy that during the off-season sign up period, we must not only evaluate the boy himself before asking him to join our team, but we must all approve of his parents. If any coach feels there will be problems such as "golden child" expectations, or unapproved sideline coaching issues, we have the right to veto the boy from joining the team. We have a wonderful reputation as a staff, and the number of boys wanting to join our team has not been an issue - but we have already turned away talented boys that we feel bring too much parental baggage. Normally in this situation, we explain that each boy is important to our team, and that we feel there is the potential for a great deal of time-sharing at the position their boy might play on our team, so if they want more "field time" they will probably be happier with their son on another team. Most parents take the statement at face value and move on. Others just assume "we don't know real talent when we see it, so you don't deserve our son on your team!" (which proves our suspicions). I remarked to one overly difficult parent "there is no letter 'I' in the word TEAM"... and he responded "yeah, but there is in the word 'scholarship' Coach!" (which instantly reminding me of Ralph's situation). I replied "It is also a letter in the name 'GIANTS', and that team would probably welcome your son". Whether the parent takes my advice or not, either way works fine for me.
While I don't look forward to the eventual season when we don't come out on top, I will console myself on that day knowing that the boys I took to the field were of my own choosing, and that the parents who entrusted their children to our staff were there to support their boy and our team - not to use our team as a platform for their own agenda.
And that is the only way to have it.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Facts That Concerned Parents Need to Know New Advice - Look Before You Leap! - 2 Straightforward Advice Tips On Dating For Parents Interview with Parenting Expert & Author – Betsy Brown Braun - You're Not The Boss Of Me Five Shower Gift Ideas for the Parent Who Has Everything Scholarships for Single Parents - Find a Free Scholarship For College An agile lead upon however to aim fruaght Felicitations! and so you have selected to carry the elder step in to converting and parent If your parents hold genital herpes can i find it too? A quickly guide on however become a fraught Kudos! in order you have took to claim the big step in to getting an parent A Top Reading Resource For Parents - A Book For Listening Parent Portal Helps to Keep Parents Involved Best Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Gifts for Parents Parents Day Gifts: It's Time to Make Their Day Get the cutest dress that your parents won't mind paying for