Preparing For Your Marriage

Preparing For Your Marriage

Preparing For Your Marriage

They say that you should spend as much time preparing for marriage as you do planning for your wedding.Well.I don't know how realistic that is.We spent two hours at our venue today ironing out some details, and I think if we had followed that conversation with two hours of marriage prep talk, I would have thrown up in my mouth a little bit.Not exactly charming, but true.

I do think some degree of marriage prep is important. At first, I thought we'd just follow some formula. We'd find a therapist, we'd go to counseling, we'd get a little certificate, we'd live happily ever after. But the more I researched it, the more I realized that really wasn't for us. Mr. Lion is a very private person, and I had a hard time imagining him opening up to a stranger!

Sure, the title was a little daunting, but you know what they say about judging a book by its cover. We flipped through it to find that it was straightforward, not too religious, and interactive. It was actually part of a set that included two workbooks, one for each of us. It seemed like a good fit for us. I really liked the fact that it included workbooks, because it allowed us to sort through our answers individually and privately. Then, we could discuss it together after collecting out thoughts. Best of all, we could work through it at our own pace.

At first, it seemed like it would be a bit of a chore. But I have to say, we've really enjoyed it! The "questions" we're supposed to ask are things we pretty much know the answers to. We've been on the same page with everything, and we're pretty much aware of each others' morals and values. However, it doesn't stop with talking about what you believe. It goes into why you believe those things. It's been interesting to dig a little deeper and figure out how our beliefs will come into play in our marriage, and eventually, how they'll affect raising a family.

I have to say, I'm with you on the "throwing up in my mouth" part, but let me explain.

I once heard a variation on this, "you should spend just as much or more time on your vows, than planning the green wedding invitations." Really?? Vows take about a couple hours, or less if you're using pre-set' ones for religious reasons, etc. Figuring out a seating chart where your divorced parents don't sit next to their exes and etc and oh no we forgot where Aunt Bertha's going to sit, clearly takes MORE time. It doesn't mean your vows aren't important, not at all, it's just that these other things are more time-consuming by nature.

I think these sayings maybe come from generations ago, where people got married after "courting" for not a long time, still lived at their parents' houses, etc. So this was literally their "getting to know each other" conversations.

Are you and your significant other doing premarital counseling? What do you think so far?

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