There are things you can do that will help you move forward after you've been cheated on
. Moving your relationship forward after an affair can be difficult. Some relationships never recover from the betrayal of an affair. You will even learn to forgive your wife in time and may even enjoy a stronger relationship.
Put yourself in her shoes. If the roles were reversed and you were the one who cheated what would you be willing to do to make things right? If you know that you'd move heaven and earth to fix your marriage it's a pretty safe bet that your wife, who really does love you, is willing to do the same.
Try to gain a little insight as to why she might have cheated if you take a nice long objective look at things from her point of view. Find out what drove her to cheat. This is a question that might take a little digging for her. She may not be able to identify the real reason off the top of her head but if she digs down deep the odds are good that she has a clue of what he offered her that she wasn't getting or didn't believe she could get from you.
This doesn't mean that her cheating was your fault. It's only meant to help you understand what was going on in her mind that led her to that point. Men say "I love you" by checking the air in the tires, changing the oil in the car, and providing a safe home for the women they love.
Women don't hear "I love you" from these actions. You must find a happy medium where she gets the message you believe you're sending if you want to work things out and move on after the affair. She wears shoes that feel like Chinese torture devices on her feet and undergarments that twist, stuff, and contort in a way Mother Nature never intended to say "I love you" to you.
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are usually right. As long as you think you can forgive and forget you can do it. It might take a little longer than you'd like but you are the only person who can talk yourself out of it. You are also the only person who can talk yourself into it. You'll need to take a deep breath and start delivering the pep talk of your married life.