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Reference Letter Etiquette by:Jack McGarry

A former associate recently emailed and requested


a reference letter.

Let me preface by saying, I like helping former

coworkers, they are the best source for job and


sales leads. Plus it is just nice to help out

friends and coworkers - call it good karma.

Here is how his request for a reference letter

went:

Hi,

Hope you are good. Say, I am trying to get a new

job at ABC and need a reference letter. Would you

be so kind to put something together for me? You

know, that I worked for you and what sort of job

I did. It would be a big help.

Thanks,

I did not respond to this request for a reference

letter and do not plan to.

Why? Because I am a jerk? Hardly.

Let's ask a few question.

Former co-worker, how long has it been since we

worked together? Spoke last? Seen each other?

What have you been doing since? Been in prison?

Run a Ponzi scheme? Been fired numerous times?

How good of a job did you really do when we last

worked together? Be honest. Do you feel confident

in your past work to request a reference to me?

Rather than criticize, here is a better way to

get a reference letter from a former employer.

First, pick a former coworker you actually knew -

not the supervisor listed on an organization

chart you saw once.

Next, phone them. Letters and email are nice, but

voice time is better. Ask for an appointment.

Better yet, ask them to lunch.

When you speak with your contact, both on the

phone and in person, ask them how they are doing.

Ask if they recall working together.

Tell them truthfully what you want from them - "

Bob, thank you for your time. I am back out

looking at a new position and could really use

your help. Do you think I could include you as a

reference for my next position?".

(Notice - you are not asking for a reference

letter, just a reference!).

Next, tell your contact exactly what you have

been doing since you both last worked together.

Where you have worked, what you have done - tie

in how important your experience the gained while

working together was to what you have done.

If your contact agrees to write you a reference

letter, ask as nicely as possible for an expected

date to receive the letter. "Say Bob, I know you

are busy. I would not expect that letter until

next Tuesday or Wednesday if that helps" is a

good way to state your thoughts.

Once you receive the reference letter, "THANK

YOUR CONTACT" - most people never do this. They

are too busy trying to get a job to remember a

simple thank you.

Finally, offer to return the favor to your

contact is any way possible. Whether it be

through a reference, sales opportunity, or job

opening.

Remember, your former boss, co-workers or

customers have no obligation to provide reference

letters. Also, email may be acceptable for many


forms of business correspondence, it is not

nearly as effective as in person forms of contact.

About the author

Jack McGarry is a technology writer, sales professional and entrepreneur. Besides authoring Marketing Me! Jack authors several other sites and hosts a womens social networking site. Jack's blog is available at http://marketingme.blogspot.com
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