Relationship And Marriage Guidance
What is some simple marriage guidance? Instead of trying to focus on 1000 things
, is there some marriage guidance that can help keep a marriage on the right track? Is there something useful to pay attention to first?
One thing to pay attention to right from the beginning is this: there are stages to a marriage. By comprehending this one truth, you can save your marriage from a lot of grief.
The beginning stage of marriage is generally known as the honeymoon stage. This is where you both try to spend as much time together as possible. You feel deeply connected and intimate. You may tend to tear each others clothes off during this phase and experience a lot of passion.
Unfortunately, the honeymoon stage will not last. If you get six months or so of feeling all that connection and passion you are doing great. But after a while it will begin to shift. You won't feel so deeply connected, it will go away.
So the deep feelings of love and connection that are the hallmark of the first few months of marriage are going to pass. You then move into the me/us phase. Here you are married, you enjoy being a couple, but you also need to separate some, focus on your own goals and interests. Relationships aren't meant to take over your life and fulfill all your dreams. You still have to do that once you get into a relationship.
When we shift from the honeymoon phase to the me and us phase, a lot of troubles can begin to arise. One partner may feel like they are being smothered. The other may feel like the passion is gone and they are being ignored. Both may judge the relationship lacking since the deep love of the honeymoon phase has transformed.
The me/us stage is fraught with potential danger to the marriage. Spouses wonder what happened to the love and if they are with the right partner. But you are! The deep passion of the first stage is just being replaced by a more general background contentment.
So embrace the me/us separation phase that naturally occurs after the honeymoon phase. The fact that he/she wants to spend time with their own friends or stay late to work sometimes is not bad. Don't blame the loss of the deep feeling of love and bonding between you on your partner, it is just natural for the honeymoon phase to shift.
by: Joanie S Angel.
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