Settling Issues In The Marriage After The Cheating: The Better Way
In your marriage conflict resolution has never been a strong suit of either party
. Now that cheating has come to the picture, there is a need for a stronger suit on conflict resolution by one of you or better yet the both of you. Several ways to resolve conflicts in your marriage after the cheating are presented below for they are not only productive but will leave you feeling better after the conflict ends instead of getting worse.
How many times has something like this happened in your house?
He says: "What has gone wrong with the chicken? It's a bit dry tonight."
Her response: "Why are you saying that my cooking is bad? In the past you never mentioned a thing about it? Have you tasted a better dish she prepared? Is that what you are implying? That she's way better than I in cooking?
And ka-boom! World War 8 had all of a sudden broken out right in the middle of your dining table and there's no possibility that anybody would be waving a white flag.
It's probably a familiar story.
And there must be a better way, right?
There is actually.
1)Learn to let go. This does not include only those touchy arguments that you keep on having but the bringing up of things from the past. If you prefer arguments and disagreements that are productive you need to put limits in place on the current topic and refrain from bringing up issues that are unresolved and tucked in the basements each time an arguments ensues. If they are real problems then they need to be resolve in a different setting and time and not during the time when something unrelated is discussed.
2)Stop escalating the fight. How many wars could have been won without nearly as much bloodshed and needless loss of life had cooler heads prevailed and no escalations occurred from the very beginning? Stop taking it to the next level or making the argument about more than it is really about.
3)Don't bring issues from the past. It would never be productive if arguments revolve in the digging of each other skeletons when all you need to discuss is the issue at hand. Live for the day, put the past behind and look forward to a better future even in your arguments.
4)Accept the possibility of losing to pave way for winning. Quit fighting to win the fight and begin fighting to save your marriage. That is the end that all this has to come down to. Winning the fight is no longer important when it would all result to losing the love of your life in the end.