Shield Your Eyes - It's A Road Trip

Talk about overrated

Talk about overrated. If there's anything as boring as, or more distressing than a god-forsaken old-fashioned cross-country road-trip with your entire family, we're hard pressed to come up with it. What's even worse is being a kid on said road trip. Having no control of the wheel or the map, being relegated to the back seat with your disgusting siblings, no say as to what's playing on the radio and a backpack full of inane comic books and a few make-up assignments for school is basically a trip to hell and back for the modern kid.

To top it off, your parents actually expect you to look out the window at the barren landscape that rolls by in one boring tidal wave after the other. Silos, trash, weeds, fields, farmers, hills, barns, meadows and kitschy roadside rest stops just aren't gonna do it for today's toddlers, tweens and teens. Of course, the tedium of counting cows and California license plates can always be interrupted, albeit briefly, by digging a few slug-bug punches deep into your brother's shoulder flesh and getting that psychotic trucker to blow his horn thanks to your overly-enthusiastic air-horn arm pump.

But what about some modern road-going entertainment? This is the digital age, (why are we driving cross-country in cars anyway) so let's match the technology to the times. Well, we have come a long way from bench seats and lap belts. Cars, trucks, SUVs and vans today are not only equipped with car backup sensors and self-parking systems, you can get them equipped with a full-blown rolling entertainment system. And, that means today's kids can while away the miles with a fist full of game controller, an ear full of rock & roll and a eye full blood, gore and violence.

Huge speakers, powerful amplifiers and miles of wiring are just the beginning of these modern, road-going entertainment miracles. Components like custom headrest monitors make sure every seat is the best seat in the house, onboard game consoles let the kids take their videogame addiction on the road and personal headphone jacks mean that the rest of the vehicle's passengers don't have to bear the latest pop song or the POW water torture that is the Mario Brothers theme song hour after hour.

Once you equip your vehicle with the proper road-going electronics, you and your kids will never have to suffer another passage of outdated poetry, haughty literati musings or the grim roadside sights ever again. But, we can't guarantee that even the best system will eliminate the dreaded, "Are we there yet?"

by: Michael Kirby

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