Should a Husband and Wife Have Separate Email Accounts? Could This Mean That Someone Is Cheating?

Should a Husband and Wife Have Separate Email Accounts

? Could This Mean That Someone Is Cheating?

I sometimes get correspondence that is centered on secret or hidden email accounts that one spouse has found (or at least suspects.) I recently had someone contact me and tell me that she thought she may have found a separate email account of her husband's, but she didn't know how to access it. So, she had approached her husband about it. Of course, the husband denied that he had a separate email address but insisted that if he did, there would be nothing wrong with this and it most certainly didn't mean he was cheating or trying to hide anything.

He then went on to tell his wife that many of their married friends had separate email accounts and there was no reason for this to be a big deal. He stressed that people needed their own privacy and identity and they shouldn't have to worry about their spouses snooping on them for no real reason. The wife didn't agree. She felt that each person having their own email was unnecessary and could possibly mean that her husband had something to hide. I'll tell you my take on this in the following article.

In My Experience And Observation, Very Little Good Comes Out Of Spouses Having Separate Email Accounts. (And Yes, This Is Sometimes Evidence Of Cheating:) I can tell you that, from my experience, spouses are caught cheating most often by their cell phones and computers. Under the umbrella of computers, people are most often caught from their email accounts, online chats, or social networking interactions (including facebook and my space.)

People who are cheating (or who are at least thinking about it) often have separate email accounts for their facebook notifications. They don't want their spouses to know how active they are or who they are talking to. People in healthy marriages who have nothing to hide have no reason to keep separate accounts from their spouse. Granted, sometimes it's necessary to have a professional or work email. But when this happens, people often won't hide this from their spouse. And, they generally won't guard the password like it's the most important secret in the world. If you're seeing this type of behavior from your spouse, then it's generally a advisable to ask yourself why.

Now, I often hear the argument that both husband and wife are individuals with their own friends and interests. People will often say things like "my wife wouldn't be interested in reading a message from my old college buddy. So why do we have to share those? My wanting my own identity is completely innocent and normal. Why does she have to make a big deal about this?" I often attempt to make people understand that it's their defensiveness and secretiveness that are really making this a big deal.

In this instance, the wife didn't care to read the emails from the husband's friends. She just wanted to know that he didn't have anything to hide from her and wasn't trying to keep secrets. Often, if you will give your spouse access to the email, you'll find that their interest about it goes away, unless there really is something in there that you are trying to hide or keep a secret. Usually, people who have nothing to hide don't get all worked up over this topic. When they do, I usually suspect that there is a reason why, but that's just my opinion. And, it's often easy enough to find out if the email is really anything to be worried about.

Finding his text messages and emails which just a few tricks I learned when I was faced with this same situation. Eventually, I decided I was tired of being lied to and I learned how to find out the complete truth which he thought for sure he hid. Once I presented this proof and evidence to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read a very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/

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