Signs Your Relationship Needs Professional Help

Relationships aren't easy and all relationships have rough spots

, disagreements, and adjustments. That said, there are times you need to get help to work things out. Here are seven signs your relationship needs professional help:

1. You have the same argument over and over that isn't resolved. The good news is that counseling might be short if you address the source before it affects other areas of your relationship and resentments grow.

2. One or both of you are talking about or thinking about ending the relationship. This is an obvious red flag that you are in trouble, but many people still don't get help at this point. It isn't too late. Before spending all the money on counseling you will need to get over breaking up, seek counseling now.

3. You recognize destructive patterns that reoccur. Relationships are between two people. Each one has their own issues that create patterns and cycles together. These are often complicated dynamics that take a trained counselor to unravel and change. This is one reason why going to friends, family, lay counselors or pastors for help with complicated marriage problems doesn't work out very well.

4. You are dealing with a crisis. People revert to old coping skills during a crisis due to the stressors they are dealing with. When emotions are high and people are under pressure, they tend to take it out on their partners. In addition, you need help navigating through the crisis.

5. You are dealing with a new life stage. Life is composed of stages that affect a relationship: the birth of children, teenagers, adult children, death of parents, job changes, and retirement. All of these can put additional stress into the relationship by changing the expectations of the partners and presenting new problems that have to be figured out. It's easier to get help at the beginning than after problems have done damage to the relationship.

6. You aren't able to communicate over even minor issues. Professionals can evaluate your communication styles and give you specific techniques you can use. This tends to be short therapy that reaps huge benefits over the life of your relationship.

7. Your relationship is characterized by resentment, irritation, anger, and distance. This is the fuel that continues to burn anything positive. Your relationship will be damaged by this poison. If you value the relationship, get help now.

It is important that you recognize the signs that your relationship needs professional help. Acting on the signs will require you to find a trained counselor through personal referrals or your medical provider network.

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by: Karla Downing

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