Single Women Holiday Survival Guide
Normal Rockwells famous picture of a family gathered around a table laden with Holiday food is outdated
. That traditional nuclear family does still exist, but its in the minority today a big minority.
The image, though, is so appealing: people who like each other sitting together around food and having a good time.
If that happens not to be your family, is there any way to get closer to that feel-good message of Rockwells picture?
Yes, but first you need to know what makes holidays so tough for you. For instance,
1You feel left out, as the only unpartnered person over 25
2You feel treated like one of the children
3People tell you what you should do to get a man or whats wrong with you that you dont have one
4You endure the same conversations each year without your children to act as a distraction
5You may not want to be with your family, but you have nowhere else to go
There actually are things you can do to better enjoy the holiday with your family. Lets start with your making a turkey!
1) Have you ever cooked a whole turkey? Turkeys are usually holiday meals which are usually hosted by parents or married siblings with children. But, theres no reason you cant offer to host it, to suggest you rotate the holiday meals. Your siblings may complain about trekking with the kids, but they do manage it sometimes.
2) Do you still feel like a child when with the family? Does it feel like they are the adults, they make the decisions; you are the child and do what you are assigned?
You dont have to passively fall into that role. Take the initiative, politely, of course. Decide what you want, then state it up-front. For instance, Lets figure out wholl take care of Grandma and look out for Uncle Joe. Or, Im bringing my rubber gloves, so Ill do clean-up after dinner. I want to spend time before dinner with the kids. Or, This year Ill watch out for the kids so you can help Mom in the kitchen.
3) Are your family conversations predictable? For instance, comments about your being single or work. Relatives often do not know what to say if they cant ask about your children and husband. So, the conversation gets awkward.
Therefore, do your homework and come prepared with new topics. Cull the newspapers and internet for unusual stories to discuss, ask the older generation about the funniest thing they did as a young person. Ask for their opinion about movies. Plan a (brief) word game that can be played by all ages. Be creative. If still stuck, ask friends what their family talks about. Then, when the inflammatory or boring subjects appear shift to one you have already prepared.
4) If dont like being with your family, create your own holiday friendship family. There are always others who cant or dont want to spend the holiday with their family. Create your own holiday tradition.
If you dont see yourself as less than or child because you arent married or a parent, then you can make sure no one else sees you that way either. So, fix your own image: start cooking a turkey.
by: Dr. Karen Gail Lewis
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