Something I Said - Give Her A Second Chance To Make A First Impression

Something I Said - Give Her A Second Chance To Make A First Impression

Something I Said -- Second Chance

Dwight Hobbes -- Insight News archives

It happens. You meet a walking dream. Things go great in the relationship. Then, for whatever reason, they turn around and go straight to hell. Let's say, she changed her mind and left. Just walked out on you. Now, the lady wants to come back. You can go with the ya-don't-get-a-second-chance-to-make-a-first-impression school of thought. In which case, end of story. Or you can realize they put erasers on pencils for a reason: people make mistakes.

You were knocked out by her to begin with. Unless she shot your dog or talked about your mama, be grown enough to understand that nobody's perfect. Not her and -- hard as it might be to comprehend, homeboy -- not you. Accept that she's human.

Do not I repeat, not be under the impression you're doing her a favor to take her back. Don't think you've got some kind of trump card and she better act right to prove herself to you. If anything, go the extra measure in welcoming her back. Take her out for the occasion. Maybe the same place you went on your fist date. Dinner, a walk in the park. Doesn't matter. As long as it's something sentimental to warmly reassure her. Of course, if she feels she did you a favor by coming back, that's another story. You're not pursuing a relationship. You're playing chess. You need to do the walking this time and chalk it all up to experience.

The second time around has benefits. As in the opportunity to look back on what went wrong. With an informed idea of how to make it go right this time. Hint: no matter why she walked out, the break-up was not all her fault and be sure to tell her you realize it (even if you're lying and don't see how you did anything wrong). What happens a lot of times simply is that folk get horizontal too fast. This can scare a woman into bolting. If that's the case, own up to the fact that it takes two to rush in and show her you didn't consider her a conquest: she was then and is now very special. If things soured for a different reason, same principal regardless of yours and her situation, be patiently understanding, sincerely comforting as possible.

Then, move on. Together. Once the rectifying and repair work is done if you're not willing to work on a relationship, you'll never have a successful one get on with enjoying the two of you being in one another's life.

Last note. If it don't click this time, there's a reason it's said, "When it don't fit, don't force it." Whatever admirable traits including that slammin' body --, she wasn't meant to be your woman. Doesn't mean the end of the world. Just means it didn't work out.

No reason to pretend she's no longer on the planet. It's okay to catch yourself thinking about her from time to time: without holding a grudge. And, in the event you bump into her, be civil. It may be a strain to keep your composure if she's with someone who has more hair and a flatter belly than you, but give it your best shot. You'll come off as a sore loser and general horse's ass, if you don't at least try and be gracious.

Ultimately, focus on the bright side. There's every possibility the second time's the proverbial charm. If it turns out not to be, what the hell, you gave it a shot. If it does work this time, well, need I say more?

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