The Anarchist Thrift Store
I went into one of those anarchist thrift stores the other day
, and my oh my did I find some bargains. Everything wasn't a dollar, but everything was cheap.
First, was medical marijuana, at prices so low I was tempted to season my spaghetti sauce with it. Needless to say, I developed some chronic conditions immediately, and bought several bags.
They head real coca cola, the old kind, made with real cocaine. The true classic recipe. I grabbed twenty cases. They also had real coke. I grabbed some of it too. I don't even do coke, but hell, it couldn't hurt to have some sitting around the house, right? A lady was shopping, with a schnitzel dog that looked like an African penis with legs, and while she wasn't looking I let it sniff some blow. It yelped forever after that, and she gave me dirty looks, but didn't know what had happened.
I found a huge Anarchist coffee table book which was almost like a photo essay, and an absolute marvel to behold. There were beautiful, color gloss photos of children's gas masks, a setup for making homemade C3.5, and even a summary of making poisons from common household items.
They also had the Henry Ford pipe bomb kit. It allowed you to mass produce pipe bombs. Whoever made this thing must have been professionally trained. It had Vaseline to rub on pipe threads to make sure there was no sparking. Custom drill bits for the pipe ends, which were the exact same size as the wicks. There was a funnel for pouring gunpowder into the pipes. And lots of wicks which had been pre knotted. This made bulb-like spherical flame that caused a much more powerful explosion. Old fashioned razor blades had been cut into small slivers and laced with cyanide, and these were to be put into the pipe to make it a fragmentation bomb.
They had the renowned Jefferson encryption package, which is almost impossible to find. The NSA really doesn't have a sense of humor about a 3,000 bit hash which is created from random atmospheric static. If the entire public used it, Big Brother wouldn't be able to keep personal privacy on the endangered species list. I was beginning to think that the Jefferson encryption package was an urban legend, it was a pleasant surprise.
I also found a small sexual products section. I almost pissed myself when I saw the depleted uranium dildos. They had an Al Qaeda Kama Sutra DVD. And homemade brownies laced with Spanish fly.
Also, they had bugs galore. I grabbed a pulse transmitting variety, which required a small decryptor to be hooked up to your car radio to allow it to be heard. Sure I'll find some noble uses for that.
A bunch of bins were near the register, and I couldn't resist grabbing a few things impulsively. I loaded up on hand grenades and detonators for plastic explosives. Got C4 that was dyed and made to look like child's play dough. Wouldn't fool a drug dog, but it was mustard superficially. Also a Kevlar cup, cause the one limb you definitely don't want blown off is your dick. I also grabbed a case of Constitution toilet paper.
That was just the tip of the Iceberg. I couldn't even begin to describe all the wonders I saw. You really need to go check out one of the anarchist thrift stores near you as soon as possible.
by: brigittepittsa
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