The Best Thing In Life Is A Loving Partner
How To Catch An Keep A Partner
How To Catch An Keep A Partner
Love follows lust as sexual attraction is the first step in building a relationship.
If you want to attract someone's attention you have to get them to notice you. Why else does the fashion industry exist? We strive to look our best, behave attentively towards someone we fancy, show off even and, occasionally, make fools of ourselves in an effort to get noticed.
Regretfully, it's easy to over do the attention seeking thing and likewise, it's easy to play it too cool. Sometimes preconceived opinions can get in the way of knowing someone so it pays to be open minded, but not blind, to any negatives.
There are plenty of examples where people, who didn't like each other at first, grow into a relationship once they get to know each other.
Even people with common interests will be more interested in sharing their interests if they like each other. It may not always be an obvious sexual attraction that predisposes you to like someone but there is always a little hint of sex lurking there in the background, even when age and status are vastly different.
In many cases it is not appropriate to flirt but liking someone sure helps lubricate the wheels of social and business interactions. This also applies to people of the same gender but on these occasions it usually does not suggest anything other than friendship. Same sex friends are valuable friends and can be very supportive company, company you can feel relaxed and comfortable in. There are plenty of good times to be had with friends of either sex and happy people almost always have at least one or two really good friends.
Obviously, personal relationships beyond that of an acquaintance, are taboo in some areas. Professional relationships such as doctor/patient, employer/employee or teacher/student and so on are no go areas for anything other than a totally professional relationship. There might be relatively rare occasions, outside the professional realm, when a personal relationship can exist if both parties are of similar age and status.
Finding And Keeping A Partner
The best, and most trouble free, way of getting to know someone is just to be yourself. If you try to be someone or something you're not, then before very long your fledgling relationship will disintegrate.
Problems usually don't develop until later in a relationship when the initial charm is wearing thin. Neither of you want to be walking on egg shells for too long, afraid of saying something that might cause a problem. After a while the excitement of meeting someone new subsides and people start to show their true colors. It's at this time that each of you is going to start discovering the real person you are dating.
It helps if you have some common interests, if you can chat freely and are not in a rush to convert this acquaintance into something more serious. Spending some time together, preferably doing things that interest you both, makes for a good casual way to test the waters before you leap in. Both of you need time to make important emotional decisions.
Romance Is A 24/7 Business
For new partners it might take days or weeks of getting to know each other, but get there you will if you both develop a genuine fondness and respect for each other. If you begin have nagging doubts it's either time to walk away or sort out some issues before things start getting serious.
Nobody is going to feel like sex if they have been ignored, insulted, neglected or constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing. I don't understand why some people argue, bicker and do things to annoy their partner by day, then expect to welcomed into bed come evening.
The reason we want to have a relationship is to enjoy life with someone we love. If we wanted to be annoyed and stressed we could just spend more time at work where we can get paid for being hassled.
If you want to live in a happy loving relationship you need to treat your partner with love and kindness - all the time, not just on special occasions.
The Seduction
Young men, and some not so young, are often in a rush to make the relationship physical while girls are often more cautious. I feel some sympathy for women who have to put up with unwanted advances well before they've had a chance to feel comfortable about the guy. It can also be a turn off for many men, as well as for women, if they feel pressured to make decisions before they're totally relaxed in new company.
Lovemaking should be an all day, everyday affair, starting first thing in the morning and followed by a day of friendly good company. Don't expect to get anywhere near the bedroom door if you've been surly, moody and ill-tempered during the day.
On most occasions women like to be treated well for some time before they will consider participating in sex. Romance and feeling good are high priorities for women, and who can blame them for wanting to enjoy the experience and come out the other side feeling pleased and happy. Haste and pressure are not conducive of good sex and a lasting relationship, after all, the best part of the whole messy business is the preamble, the seduction. That's were romance smoulders and relationships flourish.
It's Not A Race
In bed, make time slow down. Foreplay should really last more than few moments otherwise coitus can be all over and done with embarrassingly fast. This usually results in the woman feeling bewildered, frustrated and wondering what it was all about - and its not that great for men either.
For some men it is very hard to slow down and take it easy but it needs to done for lovemaking is not something to be rushed. The longer you spend on pre-sex intimacy the more satisfied you'll both be.
What Sex Is
Sex is an expression of love and commitment, not something you want to feel obliged to participate in. In a troubled relationship sex is not going to sort out your problems. It's all very well having sex to make up after a disagreement but what about tomorrow's argument?
If you want to live in a happy loving relationship and have great sex, you need to treat your partner with love, dignity and respect.
There's more on building happy relationships at
Good Relationships Make For Happy Lovers that will be helpful.
The Best Thing In Life Is A Loving Partner
By: Ian Miller - Health Writer
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